#park wonbin angst

[hornychristianprincess]

NSFW A-Z: WONBIN

a/n: this is just my personal analysis based off my perception and observations of wonbin's personality. all of this is fiction/fantasy

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Immediately after sex, Wonbin wants to be close to you, no matter how sweaty or gross the two of you are. While recovering in bed with you, he’ll be filled with a sort of cocky smugness as he reflects on just how good the sex was. His confidence will be boosted, causing him to be more talkative than usual and say whatever’s been on his mind. Once you’ve both recuperated, he’ll more often than not want to go for another round.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

On himself, Wonbin takes a lot of pride in his abs/torso. As a dancer and performer, he works hard to achieve and maintain his physique. I can imagine him having a lot of shirtless pics on his phone.

On his partner, Wonbin is a boob man all day, every day. Regardless of his partner’s size, there’s just something about the softness of them that is comforting to him. Even just feeling them through your shirt during a hug is enough to rile him up.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I think Wonbin is a little finicky when it comes to any sort of mess so I’d say he prefers to come inside of his partner or in a condom. When he’s finished, there’s ease in being able to either throw the condom away or take a shower with you so you can wash up together.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

We all know Wonbin works really hard to maintain this mysterious, cold image, but with a partner who he feels comfortable with, Wonbin is the biggest softie. When he finds someone he loves – a feat on it’s own since he is such an introvert – they become his entire world. He would do anything to please them. He doesn’t want anyone knowing this because of how it would crack this persona he’s crafted for himself.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Wonbin has been handsome his whole life so I would guess he had no shortage of suitors. However, I don’t see him as the type to just go around slinging dick to everybody. It takes a lot for him to take interest in someone and even longer before he’s comfortable initiating sex. Still, I’d venture to say he has some experience under his belt.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Wonbin is a fan of any position where he can comfortably look into your eyes, so usually missionary or cowgirl is what he goes for. Being able to see your expressions as he pleases you is integral to Wonbin’s own pleasure. He likes to maintain intense, searing eye contact with whoever he’s fucking, and these two positions are what most easily allow for that.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

In the lead-up to sex, Wonbin uses jokes to mask how nervous or excited he is. He hopes that by being playful he’ll come off as cool. Once the sex actually begins though, he is deadly serious and intense. He becomes too focused on either giving or receiving pleasure to find anything funny. It’s similar to how he is when he performs on stage; Wonbin on stage and Wonbin off stage are two different people. Off stage, he can be personable and charming, but once he gets into performance mode, he takes what he’s doing so seriously that he can’t consider anything else.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Wonbin only bothers to groom himself when he has a partner, otherwise he can’t be bothered. In the beginnings of a relationship, he appreciates it when his partner puts in the effort to shave. But once you’ve been together for a while and built that camaraderie, he couldn’t care less.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

I think Wonbin enjoys receiving intimacy but not giving intimacy if that makes sense. Like he is fully comfortable with saying romantic things to you and watching as it makes you get worked up and emotional. But the moment when you do the same and he starts to get overwhelmed with emotion, he’ll be quick to hide his face in your neck or bite your shoulder to hold back his whines. As I’ve already alluded to, he shies away from anything that would put a crack in his mysterious persona. In other words, emotional vulnerability is difficult for him but he’s more than happy to hold space for and even provoke your own expressions of emotional intimacy.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Wonbin masturbates rarely and mostly as a means to either let off stress or cure boredom. I see him masturbating the most in the shower after a long day of work, allowing his worries to release down the drain. In many ways, I see him as someone who only appreciates masturbation for its basic utility rather than for the pleasure it brings. To him, sex is a pleasure best enjoyed with a partner.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

overstimulation (giving and receiving): Wonbin is turned on by the idea of fucking until you both literally can’t anymore. To do that requires draining each other’s bodies for all of the energy they have. This man likes to go for rounds. And he won’t want to stop until you both can’t move.

marking (giving and receiving): seeing marks on each other’s skin after sex is a pride point for Wonbin. It’s evidence of just how good the sex was. when receiving, Wonbin likes scratches on his back or even a bloody lip after a passionate kiss. When giving, Wonbin likes seeing the fleeting mark of his handprint on your ass after he smacks it, and more longlasting, hickies on every part of your body.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Wonbin doesn’t have any location preference. He is honestly down to fuck you any time, any place. Still, he’s aware that his partner would likely feel most comfortable to let loose in the privacy of a bedroom, so he’s fine with that.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Before sex even comes to mind for him, he is turned on by a person who is a little hard to get. Because he is so used to the attention of potential suitors. It’s easier to get his attention by not trying to pursue him at all, at least initially. Additionally, he is attracted to unique people with lots of confidence in themselves and their interests. 

What motivates him sexually is feeling a strong level of trust with his partner. What also motivates him is his desire to please. I think Wonbin sometimes has thoughts of not being enough for a person. He sees sex as being the thing that could make someone stay if they feel like he’s lacking in other places. When he fucks, he makes the pleasure of his partner his biggest priority. He is turned on by their reactions and praise. In many ways, he sees praise of his sexual abilities as an affirmation of his personhood. Sex is one of his ways of expressing his love. Whenever he feels a strong surge of love for you romantically, it will immediately translate to him wanting to fuck you.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He’s turned off by someone who makes him feel even slightly judged for who he is as a person. I mentioned earlier that he likes people who play hard to get, but once you get past those initial meetings that define the beginning of the relationship, he has little tolerance for indifference. He wants his partner to be just as into him as he is into them.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Wonbin loves both giving and receiving head. As mentioned in my last answer, Wonbin is a huge giver. What turns him on about giving head is seeing his partner’s satisfied expressions and knowing that he possesses the power to make them feel euphoric in this way. And being the man he is, he loves to receive head. He finds you sexiest when you’re salivating over his dick, begging to have it in your mouth even after you’ve already made him come so many times this way before.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

By and large, I think his pace is dependent on whatever his partner asks of him at that moment or whatever he thinks is gonna feel the best for you. Usually he’ll start out slow just to get a feel for the rhythm of things, but he’ll have his moments where the sex starts to feel so good that he’ll get overwhelmed and start rutting into you roughly.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies aren’t Wonbin’s favorite way to fuck, but he’s also not at all opposed to them. It’s not something that happens often, especially because he likes to carve out substantial time with you so that he’s not having to rush intimacy. Still, in moments where you only have a few moments to yourselves, he’d rather have you for a short time than not at all.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

There is nothing inherently satisfying about taking risks for Wonbin. Rather, he can become so turned on by his partner that his desire outweighs any fear. If you and Wonbin are in public and he finds himself enthralled by you in some way, he has no problem with pulling you aside and having his way with you, or even playing with you under the table during a public dinner. The risk of getting caught is irrelevant if not meaningless to him. Were he ever to get caught, he would be quick to shut down any teasing or outside conversation. He prefers to keep the private life of himself and his partner out of the conversations of others.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again – rounds rounds rounds rounds. In each round, Wonbin’s first priority is to make you come, and with that in mind, he is able to hold back on his own orgasm for however long he needs to. After each round, he does need some time to recuperate, but once he’s good, he’ll be ready and needy for more. On a perfect day with Wonbin you’ll fuck, watch a movie, get bored and fuck again, get some food, fuck, and just keep going in that pattern until you collapse in bed tiredly by the end of the day. Once he’s done though, he’s done. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Wonbin is open to both using toys and having toys used on him. While he’s fucking you, I could see him reaching over to a bedside drawer, grabbing a vibrator and using it to stimulate your clit while he gives you long, deep thrusts. Conversely, if you were to incorporate a vibrator or cock ring while giving him head, he might just cry like a baby. All in all, anything that can be used to enhance both of your pleasures’ is a win for him. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Wonbin is only a tease outside of the bedroom. Inside it, he gets right to the point and doesn’t have the patience to delay anything by teasing you. His focus is on making the both of you feel good. To him, pleasure is a feeling best enjoyed when instantaneous rather than to be delayed by pointless lollygagging.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Wonbin only allows groans and grunts to come out when he feels like they sound dignified and gruff. The moment a whine threatens to come out, he’s quick to bite your shoulder to hold it back. If a means of hiding his whines isn’t immediately accessible, he’ll just look and sound really pained as he fights to hold back what he’s feeling. He always wants to appear composed and in control of his reactions.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

“I love you,” he’d say, a breezy tiredness to his voice as he fucked you for what felt like the tenth time that night. “So, so much.”

These were the sort of inclinations Wonbin would get every time he was inside you. The soft, sentimental part of him is something you only got to see, something you managed to bring out of him so easily with the pleasure of your sex. The closer he got to coming, the rougher and more restless he come feel himself being. He pinned your wrists against the bed, eyes never leaving yours as his thrusts increased in impact.

“You’re mine forever, Y/N. No one can fuck you as good as I do. You belong to me,” he’d growl, each thrust punctuated by a kiss from his signature star shaped necklace, hanging from his neck and dragging up your face. You were close, and he could tell, the feeling of you clenching around him plus the telltale shutting of your eyes giving it away. Longing to be close to you in these moments, his face collapses onto yours as he initiates a languid, messy kiss.

“Come for me. Wet me,” he’d pull away to command. “Wanna feel you drip down my cock, pretty girl.” Those were the last words you were able to register before you were launched into the most powerful orgasm of your life, Wonbin following after you with a poorly suppressed whine only shortly after.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I don’t have any strong inclinations either way. I just know that whatever he lacks in the sack he more than makes up for in other areas. Whatever his size is, it gives him no reason to not feel confident in his sexual abilities.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

I’d say his sex drive is pretty average. Sex with him is pretty physically demanding so it often happens that you fuck 1-3 times a week with a day or two between each time. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Once he’s gotten all the rounds out of his system, his energy is completely depleted. He’ll sleep like a baby.

[promise-you-doie]

Like a Butterfly | P. Wonbin

Summary: Love is like a butterfly, a rare and gentle thing, how lucky of you to have found it twice. Pairings: Shotaro x Reader Wonbin x Reader words: 15k Genre: kind of a love triangle, fluff, angst. Warnings: mild cursing, suggestive. that's all. :)

Poetry has been around since the beginning of time. It knew many forms and emotions. You loved it because it had no rules, no restrictions. anything could be poetry. That was the beauty of art.

If you had a Time Machine you would teleport back to the time when life was simpler. You didn’t have the stress of school, the weight of peoples opinions or the inconvenience of being somewhat an adult.

Luckily you didn’t need a Time Machine, you had Wonbin. Having his arms wrapped around you was your form of escapism.

His fingers intertwined in yours and you feel yourself chasing all the heat his body has to offer as you push yourself as close as physics would allow you to. You love him, you’re sure of it.

You love the beautiful melody of his voice, the lovely shapes in his face. The brightness of his smile, the softness of his hands. and sometimes you think you love the way he loves you, but he doesn’t. That’s the issue.

You often find yourself daydreaming of an alternate universe in which he cared for you the way you care for him. It wouldn’t be too different from the one you’re in now. Only difference is you wouldn’t have to hide with him.

The two of you could love each other aloud, you could kiss him in front of your friends. Hold hands during the day.

But those were just daydreams. This is reality, and In your reality you were sitting on the opposite side of the food court watching Wonbin smile and giggle with a girl who wasn’t you.

Over time you’d gotten better at keeping your emotions tamed.

“Girl? You got beef with the broccoli?”

Well… you were still working on it.

“It's just not-“ you stab the broccoli a few more times before you give up and just throw the fork down.

“Is something bothering you?” Shotaro asks softly. Hearing his voice only eases you down. You could never be upset around him, not when he’s giving you a look like he’ll do anything on the planet to make sure your smile never fades.

It wasn’t just his eyes that were telling you that, it was everything about him. It’s just how he was.

“I’m just so stressed with midterms coming up. I can’t fail, my parents will kill me.” You partly lie.

“Want me to come over later, we can study together. I’ll make sure to get the cherry ice cream that you really like.”

His suggestion is enough to erase whatever distress you were feeling.

“Thank you taro.” You smile at him

“Oh you two are so cute. Just date already.” Giselle laughs watching the two of you interact with each other.

You wished it were that simple, you would just be happy with Shotaro like everyone expected you to. But the only dilemma to this obvious solution, was that you only kinda liked shotaro. But you really like Wonbin.

As if he could hear your thoughts, the devil with a sly smile walks over to your table stirring up your emotions once again. Smirking as if he knows how upset he’s made you talking to that girl.

“What’s going on over here?”

“Nothing that concerns you?” Winter dismisses him.

You try to ignore him but you can’t help but feel his gaze burning into you like the rays of the sun. Usually you loved it, but right now his intense contact made you wanna crawl up into a ball and vanish.

“Who’s the girl you were flirting with?” Ningning asks

“He probably doesn’t even know her name? It’s a new girl everyday with him.” Karina adds

Hearing it all made you want to throw up, but you keep your calm. Simply picking at the food on your plate trying to tune out the conversation that's happening right before you.

You’re so immersed in your food that you don’t even notice that everyone’s stopped talking and is watching you brutally stab at the chicken.

“Oh that poor chicken.” Ningning whispers.

After a few short seconds you break out of your own bubble and look up at your group of friends, quickly taking notice of horror on each of their faces.

“Sorry, I gotta use the bathroom.” You say dismissing yourself from the table.

“Damn, if she’s this scared for midterms. There’s no hope for the rest of us.” Sohee deadpans

“To be fair, there was never any hope for you.” Winter snickers.

The table breaks off into a new conversation, completely missing when Wonbin sneaks off after you.

“Where are you heading off to?” You hear Wonbin in some distance behind you.

“Class.”

Within a split second his hand is on your wrist pulling you back towards him until you’re face to chest.

“We have some time.”

“I’ve gotta get to class, Wonbin.”

“What’s up?”

“Nothing, I’m just-“

“You know i know better”

You couldn’t tell him the real truth. That it bothered you seeing him with someone else. That you were jealous but you had no right to be because the two of you weren’t even dating.

“It’s just a lot right now.”

“You usually come to me about these kinds of things.” He says softly and it makes you melt, almost as much as his subtle touch to your cheek.

“I've just been a little too busy lately.”

“Then I’ll just come over tonight, we can talk all you want.”

The offer was tempting. The only thing that could fix you was laying for hours in his arms and talking until you mumbled yourself to sleep just as you always do.

“Can’t. I’m studying with shotaro tonight.”

“Then I’ll just stop by afterwards.”

“I’m gonna be late for class.”

“I’ll see you later?”

“Goodbye, Wonbin.”

Laughter echoed throughout the living room where you and shotaro remained. Textbooks, notebooks, pens and snacks took up the space between the both of you. Keeping the mood light and easy.

“Okay let’s see…” you pause for a moment to search for a question you were sure he wasn’t gonna get.

“What is the term used to describe a process that is both catabolic and anabolic?”

“Amphibolic.”

“No fair, you cheated.”

“No i didn’t.”

“Did too!”

“Did not.”

In the middle of your childish bickering you hear your phone ding. Your first instinct was only to ignore it, and switch your phone off. But you quickly get a change of heart when you see that Wonbin is the reason for the notification.

Wonbin <3: still studying?

Wonbin <3: I miss you

Wonbin <3: Can’t stop thinking about you

Each message sends a new wave of butterflies, it’s almost sickening how you allowed him to have this effect on you.

You: I’m trying to focus

Wonbin <3: I’m sorry baby, continue studying.

“Sorry, Karina’s nagging me about her new shoes.” You made up.

“Actually it’s getting pretty late, do you wanna call it a night?” He asks as he’s already closing the books, knowing what your answer is gonna be before you get a chance to say anything.

“Um. Yeah, we can continue another time. I’m getting pretty tired.”

“So I’ll see you in class.”

“Of course. Drive safely. Text me when you get home.”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, shotaro.” You smile warmly at him and it lingers for a few seconds before he finally leaves. You can’t help but hold your smile even after you close the door to your apartment and reach to clean up the small mess on your floor. It’s only a few books, highlighters and a set of keys that you assumed were yours at first but after picking them up you quickly noticed they weren’t.

Just as soon as you come to the conclusion of who the keys could belong to you hear a knock at the door.

“I picked them up as so-“ your eyes widen the moment you notice that it’s not shotaro but Wonbin standing on the other side of your doorway. Within two seconds you pull him in and check the hallway to make sure that no one saw him coming to your apartment at 11 pm at night.

“What are you doing here?” You whisper, shout, as if people can hear you through the walls.

“I wanted to see you.”

“What if he saw you?” And the moment the words leave your mouth there’s another knock at the door. You only have five seconds to think and in those five seconds you push Wonbin out of view and breathe before you open the door.

“I left my keys.”

“Yeah, I picked them up just a few seconds ago.”

“I also wanted to ask if maybe you’d want to come with me to the fall festival tomorrow.”

You fix your lips and you’re about to accept his invitation when you hear a loud noise coming from Wonbins direction.

“Did something fall?”

“No yeah it’s just a painting I’ve been trying to keep up. But it keeps falling.”

“Do you need help with it?”

“Uh no i think i might just return it, but yes i definitely want to join you tomorrow.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I think it’ll be fun.”

“Good, so uh I’ll just text you when I get home.”

“Drive safe, good night.”

“Goodnight.”

The second you close and lock the door you’re scolding Wonbin yet again.

“Are you trying to get us caught?”

“It just fell.”

“Oh just fell my ass.” You yell at him but you can’t remain serious when he’s looking down at you with his dark Diamond eyes. Or when he gives you that smile that you absolutely hate (love).

“I’ll be more careful next time.” he smirks.

You wanna scold him about there not being a “next time” but there’s only so much you can say when your lips are occupied with his own.

His hands are tugging and your waist to pull you closer to him and naturally your hands wrap around his forearms. Your conscience is telling you this is wrong and you need to end whatever it is that the two of you have going on. But your heart completely disagrees as you’re pulling him even closer to you like he’s gonna disappear under your grasp.

You find yourself in this position too often. You wished you could say you hated it, but that’s just not the case. It’s almost sickening how weak you are for him. All he had to do was say your name and you’d fold for him time and time again.

His fingers are twirling around in your hair, your legs are horizontally crossing his and cheeks are pressed against his chest. By now your eyes are getting heavier and heavier, and the warmth of his body doesn’t aid in your sleepiness. Nor does the way his chest vibrates every time he speaks, and especially not when his voice is soft and soothing.

“What got you upset this morning?” He circles the question back around after hours. You don’t wanna remember the way she smiled at him or the way she brushed her hand against his arm. And you especially don’t wanna have to tell him about your frustrations so you sum it up to. “Just something the girls and I were talking about.” Hoping he wouldn’t ask any more questions about the matter.

Eventually you shift your body so you can just lay over top of him, and comfortably fall asleep on his chest. The rhythm of his beating heart and the way his body rises with each breath he takes is more than enough to have you drifting to sleep once again and when you’re hanging on to a single thread of energy he kisses atop your head and whispers for you to sleep well.

“Are you here by yourself?” That’s the single question that landed you here in the first place.

You’re sitting alone in an almost empty library. There’s just you, a few other students and the librarian. It’s quiet, that’s why you loved it. perfect place to go and get set on all of your academics or just escape from the noises of everyday life.

You’re so interested in your book that you fail to notice Wonbin walk in, and immediately gravitate over to you.

It’s not until he speaks that you lift your head from the contents of your novel to meet his eyes, and a pretty smile to match.

“Are you here by yourself?” He asks

“Yeah, I just needed to clear my head.”

From there is when you both begin a conversation, you realize that he’s easy to talk to. The conversation just flows like the crystal clear water of a river. You talk enough to have just wasted 3 hours of what was supposed to be alone time. But you feel as if you’d rather have spent time talking to him than doing anything else.

Overtime he becomes the person you can go to just to talk. Talk about any and everything, but somehow conversations led to prolonged kisses and touching each other in ways you wouldn’t want from anyone else.

“I’ve never kissed anyone.”

“Really, never?”

“I mean well, I kissed this guy in freshman year of highschool. but it was so weird I don't even wanna think about it.”

you stopped talking when you noticed him watching your lips. For a good few seconds neither of you said anything. The only noise to fill the air was the background noise of the T.V.

“First kisses are usually always awkward, mine was.”

you gasp a little when his focus shifts from your lips back to your eyes.

“yeah, I guess so.”

“So I'm guessing you haven’t dated anyone?”

“no, not yet.”

“How come?”

“I just don’t have the time, not with school and stuff.”

“but you have time to talk to me.”

“That's because I like talking to you.”

“you do?”

with each sentence that leaves his mouth you hear the tone of his voice get softer and softer. you couldn’t remember when it started, when you started liking him. or when just the sound of his voice became so intoxicating to you, but what you did know was that there wasn’t anything you could do about it.

so when he gently slipped his hand under your jaw and hooked around the side of your face, and kept eye contact with you as he got closer and closer until you felt his breath brush upon your lips. you only closed your eyes, you didn’t have the willpower to fight him off and even if you did. you wouldn’t want to.

because your second kiss was way better than your first, it was unclear why though. was it the quality of the kiss, or was it the person you shared the kiss with? you were unsure, and as much as you wanted to find out. you couldn’t, it couldn’t happen. not again.

being with wonbin broke so many of the friendship rules and you knew that. which is why you never told your friends and you never kissed him again.

however the conversations never stopped, talking to him was how you managed through busy weeks and frustrating assignments. you were too busy for leisure time, let alone relationships. so how did you make time for him? how did you manage time to sneak around with him?

“you just take this 4 and multiply it by the 7 down here.” you ask

when you look up is when you finally notice how close he was. you stop breathing for a few seconds looking down to see that if you moved just a few inches you’d be touching his fluffy pretty lips.

but you blink out of your fantasy, you’d already made it clear that what happened before, can’t happen again.

“are you keeping up?”

“no i think i got lost, could you run it over one more time.” he’s just barely whispering now, and staring at your lips.

��yeah, umm you just…”

before you could explain anything he moves the hair from covering your face, using only his index finger to push it over your shoulder so he could see you a little more clearly.

“wonbin…” you whine lowly and it causes him to laugh in a way that gives you butterflies.

“yeah?” he asks innocently.

it’s his smile, it’s his smile that makes your heart beat outside of your chest. it’s his smile that makes you act the way you do. it’s his smile that posses you to kiss him back when he lays his lips on yours.

“We can't take this any further.” you say once you push him off of you

“okay.” his lips are agreeing but his hands aren’t obeying. sliding past the skin of your thigh in a way that makes you dizzy.

“I won't do anything you don’t want me to.”

“it’s not that i don’t want to…”

“then tell me what it is?”

“you can’t flirt your way out of this assignment.” the words come out in a whisper as you take his larger hands into your own, to stop him from sliding up and down your leg.

the rest of the evening went smoothly. only small touches here and there. but nothing that you felt like would jeopardize the friendship. but when he leaves and you fall back on your bed all you think about is how perfect his lips felt on yours or how electrifying his hands felt on your skin.

you know that the friendship is beyond jeopardized by now. you don't know when the damage began, if it was when you shared the first kiss? or if it was when you rolled off your bed to answer the door after wonbin had left, only to find that he was back. and he was thinking about you just how you were thinking about him.

“Why are you still here?” you question but he doesn’t answer. He walks in the more you back up until he’s far enough to close the door behind him.

“Can I kiss you?”

“no.” you wish you had the strength to say that. no, more like you wished you could say that and actually mean it. but he stands over you looking down at you in a way that makes you forget everything else.

“please.”

What started as a kiss ended as the two of you wrapped in your sheets.

you shielded your face in his neck from all of the embarrassment you felt, knowing that it was far too late to just stay “friends”.

“We can't tell anyone about this.”

“I won’t say a thing.”

he agrees as he lays a sweet kiss on the side of your head.

you thought that this was the lowest you could go. having sex with him and lying to your friends. but you found a way to go lower, you fell in love.

you fell in love with him, and you fell in love with sneaking around with him. kissing in hidden hallways, lingering gazes in front of your friends and cryptic conversations.

that’s why everytime he comes over you can’t help but give in to him. anger doesn’t exist when you’re around him and you wanted so deeply to hate him. but you just can’t

Within 30 minutes of Wonbin waking you to tell you he was leaving to get ready for school, your alarm went off, telling you that it was now your turn. Not ready to get up yet you snooze your alarm for 20 more minutes.

After twenty minutes pass and your alarm goes off again you roll out of bed and throw on the first thing you see. Which happens to be an oversized black zip up hoodie and a pair of jeans.

“Is that Wonbin’s hoodie?” Giselle asks the second she she’s you.

“Hmm?” You finally look down at the large garment you’re wearing. Nearly widening your eyes when you realize it is in fact his hoodie.

“No. Girl why would I be wearing Wonbin’s hoodie?” You laugh off and she follows after you

“I thought it was for a second.”

“Anyways I heard shotaro finally asked you out on a date.”

“It’s not really a date, we’re just hanging out.”

“Hanging out alone? It's definitely a date.” She re-adresses and continues

“It’s about time, you guys move like turtles.”

By the time she finishes her sentence you’re standing right out front of the door to the class.

“It’s just a little hang out.”

“Talk to someone who doesn’t know any better.”

“Goodbye Gigi.”

“Bye girl.”

The second you walk into class you catch a glimpse of the very girl that had her paws over (not) your man yesterday morning. But you don’t get much time to think because shotaro calls your name and signals you over to take a seat next to him.

“Hey.” You smile before you take a seat.

“How’d you sleep?”

“I slept pretty well.”

“So we’re still on for tonight.”

“Yeah of course.”

He smiles and turns to the teacher when she begins to speak. You wanna pay attention to the class, but all your focus goes to the brunette beauty sitting far across the room.

She’s talking to her friend and she starts to smile, you see just how pretty her smile is. Which you hadn’t noticed yesterday. She’s gorgeous and you hate it. You hate how pretty she is, you hate that you’re now so fixed on her because of one minor interaction between her and someone that you weren’t even supposed to be with.

Each time you try to pretend she isn’t there, you find yourself taking more and more peaks of her. By the end of the class you’re now hating yourself and wanting again to just disappear into thin air.

You leave class immediately, wanting to head to the bathroom and take a small break but Wonbin has other plans as he stands outside of your class to pull you aside the second you walk out.

“Why haven’t you responded to my text?”

“Huh?” You question clearly confused about what it is he would even be messaging you about that was so serious it warranted him standing outside of your class like a fool.

“Didn’t you get my messages?”

“No, I haven't checked my phone.”

“Wow, nice to see that you guys are finally talking. Sometimes i forget that you two know each other.” Shotaro speaks from besides you.

“It’s just there's nothing for us to really talk about.”

“I think we’d have more conversations if you didn’t ignore me.”

To that you just laugh off, hoping that Shotaro didn’t catch the sarcasm in Wonbin’s statement.

“Well I’ll leave you guys to talk, I’ll be in the library.” Shotaro points as he walks off and you fix your legs to follow after him but Wonbin takes your wrist and pulls you back to him.

Only for you to quickly pull it away. “What are you trying to do?”

“Sorry, wouldn’t want your boyfriend to catch us.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” You say first

“And secondly i didn’t say anything when you were fucking that girl with your eyes yesterday.”

You wanna die when he smiles down at you, finally pulling out the answer that you’d been trying to hide.

“Is that why you were so mad?” he mocks.

“No, I wasn’t mad. I don’t care. do what you want.”

“To be fair you’re not being so discreet, walking around campus with my hoodie on.”

“I didn’t realize it was yours until I got to school.”

“But you still have it on.”

“I don’t have a shirt on '' you whisper shyly enough for him to hear. The way he smiled at you makes you debate on whether you wanna kiss him in front of everyone or run and hide.

“Well you look good in it.” He says playing on the strings of the hoodie.

“Can I see you later?”

“You know you can’t.”

“Right, you have a date.”

“It’s not a date.”

“Then go tell him that.”

“No. Why would - I don't have time for this. I have to go study.”

“Study hard.” You don’t give a response, you just roll your eyes and walk away.

This is a date. There was no point of lying to yourself anymore when you knew the answer. Shotaro’s handsy, not in the way that makes you uncomfortable, but in the way that if a stranger were watching they’d think that you were a couple.

Of course you don’t mind it when he slides an arm around your waist and pulls you close to him whenever a stranger passes by you. Or when he slips his hand over yours to lead you through the different activities.

In fact you think you might actually like it. The mood with shotaro is so light you feel like you're just floating. You’re happy, and you know you can most definitely get used to this.

“Look.” He says to grab your attention. You turn around and see he’s holding his phone to take a selfie with you. So easily you hold up a pose to match his expression and watch as he takes a few flicks.

He swipes through the pictures in front of you so you can see the results. Leaned against him with your arm looped around his.

“These are so cute.”

“You like them?”

“Mhm, send them to me.”

“Okay what do you wanna do next?”

“Um~” you hymn while looking, scanning around the area to see what catches your eye. Each station looks fun and interactive but when you see a coffee stand that has hot chocolate, your mind is made up immediately.

“Let’s get hot chocolate.” You look up at him and he’s looking down at you with his dark orbs.

“Hot chocolate it is.”

He leads you to the hot chocolate station and stands with you in line.

“Which one do you want?”

“Pumpkin with whipped cream.”

You wait in line, your arms remained tightened around Shotaro while he placed the order. You only pull your arms off of him when the person working the stand passes you your cup of hot chocolate.

“Oh look, it's Wonbin.”

Hearing his name is enough to perk your ears up. You hadn’t thought about him the whole night, and you really don’t wanna start now.

You follow Shotaro's eyes to see Wonbin standing not far away from you. He doesn’t notice you standing there until Shotaro calls out his name and signals him over to you.

Wonbin sees Shotaro first and then he sees you, shaking your head back and forth with widened eyes hoping that he’d take the hint and stay where he is. But he doesn’t, of course he doesn’t.

“Hey I didn't know you guys would be here.” Wonbin lied straight through his pretty lips.

“We were just hanging out.” Shotaro responds on your behalf

“I’ve been looking for you. I got our hot chocolate.” The same girl from yesterday stood right in front of you again. Wearing the same smile she had prior and a look in her eyes that tells you that she really really liked Wonbin.

“Thanks.” He says retrieving a cup from one of her hands and using his other hand to hold the hand he just freed.

You feel sick again, just as you did yesterday morning. The worst part is that you know that he knows because of the way he smirks darkly at you.

“Oh these are my friends.”

“Oh I know you guys, we have biology together. I always thought that you made the cutest couple.”

You smile and look up at Shotaro who’s also smiling.

“They aren’t dating.” wonbin sternly corrects her before she gets a chance to finish her sentence

“Wait really, you should y’all are so cute together.” She compliments again. Completely oblivious to the way wonbin turns his head and rolls his eyes.

“Wouldn’t they be perfect together?” She looks up at Wonbin for an answer.

“Yeah, I couldn't imagine her with anyone else.”

“Thanks everyone tells us that we should get together.” You smile up at shotaro hoping to make Wonbin at least half as upset as he made you.

“We should leave you love birds to finish your night.”

“Actually I think it would be fun for us to go through the haunted maze together.” You loop your arm back around Shotaro and smile at Wonbin.

“Oh my god, yes.” Wonbin’s date jumps and sequels.

The night was fun before and you had expected it to get even better, clinging on Shotaro as you walked in front of Wonbin and his date through the maze. Tightening your hold onto his arm each time another actor popped out. Or giggling about how brave he was, knowing that wonbin got to see everything.

You just wished that you could keep up the act for the entire night. Or at least not visibly roll your eyes when you hear a small voice behind you go “this is so scary, can I hold your hand.” It took everything in you not to turn around to see what was going on behind you.

The more you hear the conversation going on behind you the more you cling to Shotaro. Half attempting to make him jealous and half hoping that if you spent more time worrying about Shotaro you’d spend less time thinking about wonbin and the girl behind you, and not what they were doing.

Not that there was actually anything happening, wonbin was too occupied with watching you laugh and smile with Shotaro to even care about the girl that he invited simply to see you get mad again. Her hands on him went completely unnoticed as he poked his tongue through his cheek to stop himself from making any comments aloud.

When all of you finished the maze you were annoyed and so was he, but both of you were stubborn. So he wore a pretty fake smile when he wrapped his arm around the girl beside him and you did the same, intertwining your fingers with Shotaro's and smiling up to him about how fun the maze was.

You weren’t even trying to piss Wonbin off anymore, you were just trying to keep up the act that you started. Unsure of who you were doing it for. Were you trying to convince Wonbin, Shotaro or yourself?

The night ends off with you in the passenger seat of his car, after he arrives at your apartment.

“I had so much fun, taro. Thanks for inviting me out.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, I actually wanted to talk to you a little bit.”

“Yeah? What's up?”

“Well actually I’ve been thinking about this for a while. I just didn’t wanna make a fool of myself, but I was talking to the guys about it, and they said I should just do it. I don’t wanna make things weird though and actu-” you’re watching him in adoration as he rambles on and avoids eye contact with you.

“Do what?” you ask through your giggle

“Well I really like you, Y/N. I’ve liked you for a long time now and I like talking to you, spending time with you.”

“Yeah.” you speak gently, that’s what makes shotaro take a deep breath and finally look at you.

“I just wanted to ask if you’d like to be my girlfriend?.”

“I-“ you begin to speak but he’s quick to cut you off before you could even answer him.

“You don’t have to give me an answer right now, just think about it and let me know when you’re ready.”

“I’ll definitely think about it.” You reach to give him a kiss on his cheek.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

What an eventful night, you think while walking into your apartment. Easily your feet shuffle to your bed and allow yourself to fall back.

Shotaros question leaves you confused. You wanted to say yes. It seemed like the obvious answer, and you would have agreed to his proposal the second he asked but the only thing standing in your way is Wonbin.

You turn in your bed and curl into a ball, taking the black garment beside you and using it as a pillow not noticing that it’s Wonbin’s hoodie until you recognize the large print written behind the hoodie.

Just as you throw the hoodie across the room there’s a knock at the door. It’s small and kinda shy so you think it’s shotaro and for the second night in a row you’re mistaken as you open to find Wonbin standing directly parallel from you.

You have nothing to say to him, you’re mad at him, you think. But you’re not entirely sure. You feel like you’re supposed to be upset and you’re supposed to be kicking him out of your apartment. You try to find the answer by just looking at him, but when you see him you see Wonbin. You love the man you see in front of you, and you hate that you do.

“Where’s your date?” You ask

“Probably at home.”

“Does she know you’re here?”

He invites himself in fully and closes the door behind him.

“I bet you'd like to know.”

“You were all touchy feely earlier, I’d think that you really liked her.”

“I don’t even know her name.”

“You’re a sick man,”

“You’re not any better, baby.

You knew you were just as bad. You were well aware. Both of you are using innocent people as pawns in this twisted game you liked to play.

“I’m not as bad as you.”

“So you don’t mind me telling shotaro about this?”

“Why would you do that?”

“Why shouldn’t i?”

He’s so close to you, that you feel his heat radiating on to you. But he’s not as close as you’d like him to be. That’s how you knew you were worse than he was. Because even with everything that just transpired tonight you wanted nothing more than to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him until you're out of breath. Until his lips are red and swollen, until you finally understand what’s holding you back from fully committing to shotaro.

The question goes unanswered when your lips are tangled in his, not an inch in between your connecting bodies. Only thing to pull you away from each other is when you hear a single ring from your phone, telling you that someone texted.

You know who it is, and so does he. But it doesn’t stop you from pulling out your phone to check the message from shotaro telling you to sleep well.

This isn’t right, you feel at this exact moment that this isn’t right. You look up at Wonbin, your eyes easily finding him. Thinking that maybe this will set you straight. But all it does is remind you of how you got here in the first place.

Within a split second your lips are back on his again, they never leave. Even as he leads you to your bed to lay you down gently.

“This is the last time we’re doing this, so you better make it count.”

“Yes ma’am.” Is all he whispers in your ear before he begins leaving kisses down your collar bone.

Mornings after spending a night with Wonbin were the exact reason that you kept this going for so long. There’s nothing in the world more comforting than the beating of his heart mixed with sounds of chirping birds and light of the morning sun sneaking into your apartment.

There once was a time when you’d swore you wanted to lay here for eternity. But something today is different, because with the birds chirping and the sun dimly shining and his arms wrapped firmly around you. It just doesn’t feel the same, you can’t tell what’s changed.

But you know that the more you lay in bed with him the more you feel wrong.

“You’re awake?” He peeks down at you with sleepy eyes. The ones you loved waking up to, at least you used to. You don’t know what’s switched in you, but honestly you don’t wanna know. Now you finally have the strength to end this cycle that you’ve started.

His eyes are trained on you and you sit up and lean against your headboard.

“You should go.” You didn’t mean for it to come out as a whisper.

“What?”

“I want you to leave.”

He doesn’t ask anymore questions but you can tell he’s confused. You’re watching him in silence as he slips his clothes back on and you grab one of your favorite oversized band shirts to throw on.

“Can I call you later?”

“You won’t get an answer.”

The room goes silent again, while he collects his shoes, wallet, and phone and makes his way to the door.

“Wait.” You stop him before he walks out.

It’s almost fun to you when you see him turn back to you with shadows of hope ghosting over his expression.

“You forgot this.” You tease,

walking to him with his black hoodie.

“Goodbye, Wonbin.” You reach to plant a chaste kiss on his cheek.

Nobody notices how your eyes are glued to Wonbin when he takes a seat directly across from you. He pretends like he’s so focused on what Seunghan has to say but you know that’s not the case because when he laughs he looks at you.

It doesn’t occur to you until now that this whole kind of breakup thing isn’t going to be easy at all.

“So Y/N how’d your date go yesterday?” Karina turns the attention to you. You feel all eyes turn to your direction and including Wonbin’s who’s looking you through his eyebrows.

“We had a lot of fun.” You turn to shotaro hoping that maybe it will take your attention off of the man sitting across from you.

“Did you guys kiss?”

“You know they didn’t, they still act like 2nd graders when they touch hands.”

“Be careful, she’s not as innocent as she looks.”

Wonbin laughs while looking at you.

“Wait what? Y/n did you finally lose your virginity?”

The question causes you to cough aloud. Sure you weren’t innocent, but you definitely did not want to talk about your first sex experience in public to all of your guy friends and especially not with shotaro and Wonbin.

“I um… yeah, remember I told you guys.”

“Oh yeah, the guy from earlier this year. That you said made you wanna baby trap him with how good it was.”

“I don’t think I said all that.”

“Mm mm you said more.”

“I remember cause she was like-“

“Okay, that’s enough.” You stop them. Not only because it was a topic you’d rather not talk about in front of shotaro but also because the man that you wanted to “baby trap.” Was Wonbin

“Whatever happened to him?” Giselle asked

“She probably got bored and dropped him.” Wonbin snickers under his breath, not even bothering to look at you.

“Well, actually. I realized that we weren’t good for each other, and that I needed to be with someone who was good for more than just sex.”

“Amen girl.” Giselle adds

“Aww and now she has shotaro.”

“Honestly it sounds like an upgrade. What a douchebag.” Winter says while looking down at her food.

“But let’s be honest? Do you even like shotaro?” Wonbin blurts out. It takes not even 30 seconds for you to jump up and drag Wonbin away from the table by his wrist to a place where the rest of your friends can still see you but none of them can hear you.

All heads are turned towards the both of you as you yell at him for his unnecessary comments.

“What are they talking about?” Winter questions

“Don’t worry guys, I can read lips.” sohee says

“Okay she said something about the weather.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” you ask frustratedly

“I just asked a question, but it clearly got you upset ” He smiles down at you.

“It’s none of your business.”

“Maybe not, but I feel like he deserves to know.” Wonbin gestures to shotaro who walks up behind you.

“What’s going on with you guys?”

“Nothing, we had a small argument yesterday and now he’s acting like a baby.” You answer shotaro while watching Wonbin.

“Do you need to talk it out?” Shotaro asks

“There’s nothing more to say.” Wonbin says nonchalantly while walking back to the table and grabbing his bag, throwing it over his shoulder while making his way past you.

“I’ll see you around.” Is all he says before walking off and leaving you and shotaro by yourself.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” You look down and notice shotaro’s hand is loosely wrapped around yours. You don’t really know when it got there but you figure that that’s the reason Wonbin decided to cut the conversation.

“I’m fine, sorry about all that.”

After the entire incident with Wonbin you really only see him around campus. Neither of you are brave enough to talk to each other or at least apologize.

No matter how many times shotaro has explained to you that he didn’t find offense in Wonbin’s question. Or that he just wants you guys to work it out because he hates seeing his two close friends fight.

Part of you wants to just be honest with him and tell him what the whole fight was really about. But the rest of you thinks about the guilt you’ll feel when you see his reaction.

As far as the rest of the friend group went, things were pretty awkward. They’d only have one of you around at a time to avoid any blow up again.

As time goes on, the more you’re reminded that you guys had that rule about not dating within the friend group. And with each passing moment you feel guilty, because you never intended for things to get this far.

Even though this situation was extremely stressful you still had Shotaro’s question lingering in the back of your mind and with everything going on the answer seemed even clearer than ever.

Especially if Wonbin was no longer in the picture.

“So shotaro asked me to be his girlfriend.” you start

“It’s about time.” Ningning speaks

“When?” karina asks

“2 weeks ago, after we went to the festival.” you answer

“And what did you say?” giselle asks

“I didn’t give him an answer yet. He told me to think about it.” you respond

“What is there to think about?” winter questions

“I don’t know, we just had that rule about dating within each other and I didn’t wanna break it.” You lie.

“When we made that rule, it never applied to you and shotaro.” karina says, rolling her eyes

“Girl, two weeks is long enough to think about it, call him right now.” ningning says picking up your phone and throwing it in your lap.

“I can’t do that.” you argue

“Yes you can, and you will.” ningning states

“I’ll just text him.” you mumble

“No, you need to call him.” giselle says sharply

Ignoring them, you open your messages and begin to type out your message.

You: I’ve been thinking about it a lot. And I think I'm ready to finally be your girlfriend.

The second you send the text you throw your phone down on the bed. Hands shielding your face as if it could aid in the embarrassment you feel. The girls all squealed as the message was sent.

“Girl what are you scared of, he asked you.” ningning says laughing

“I know but it’s still scary, what if he changed his mind.” you say

“I’m sure he didn’t.”

Right after winter speaks you hear three bells come from your phone. To inform you that you got three new messages from shotaro.

The anticipation is killing you alive. On one hand you wanna know what he said and on the other you’re too afraid to pick up your phone.

“Girl answer the phone.” giselle says

“I can’t.” you say pushing the phone away from you

“Okay fine, I’ll do it.” Karina picks up the phone to read the messages. That’s when you finally uncover your face and watch their reaction carefully.

If their faces weren’t enough to tell you that something was wrong, the collective “oh.” Should’ve done it for you.

“What? What’s wrong?” you ask

“Umm you might wanna see this yourself.” karina says with a tight smile

They passed your phone back so you could see what was happening.

Wonbin: when you said you wanted to end things, i didn’t think this is what you meant

But honestly I’m glad you finally texted me, I really missed you.

I'd like to see how this works out

“Wow“ you sat there staring at your phone screen

“How did you even do that?” winter says, her brows furrowed

“I don’t know, I had both of their contacts pinned and I guess I accidentally chose the wrong one.” you stress

“Chose the wrong one?” giselle asks, her brow raised

“Wait, why would you even have Wonbin’s contact pinned? And what does he mean to end things?” karina asks, looking to the other girls

It’s true what they say. What’s done in the dark comes to the light. No matter how good you think you are at hiding. The truth always comes out eventually.

“Umm.” you trail off

You try to figure out how to say things while the four girls sit there waiting for an answer.

“We’ve been talking for a while.” you mumble

“Talking like how?” they start

“Did you guys have sex?” winter asks

“We’ve dabbled.” you mutter

“Literally what does that even mean?” ningning says, squinting at you

“Yeah.” you sigh

“How many times?” Giselle asks

“Uh like 3 times.” You’re not sure if it’s accurate but 3 is the first number that pops up in your head, and you start to nod your head when you see a couple of the girls nodding in agreement.

“Okay that’s not too bad.” giselle responds.

“A week.” You finish.

They let out a collective “damn.” Which told you that its definitely a lot.

“I didn’t know he had all that in him.” Karina says with widened eyes

“Oh he’s definitely got all that.” The thought makes you smile a little.

“Wait, you and Wonbin? As in the pretty boy who would flirt with a plant if it had eyes.”

“Yeah~”

“How did this happen?”

“I don’t know, I don't know one day we were just talking. Next day… he was in my bed. I thought that it’d be the first and only time but-“

“You just couldn’t stay away.” giselle speaks what you were thinking, causing you to shake your head in shame.

“How long have you guys been.. Y’know seeing each other.” winter questions

“Since like February.” you answer

“That’s 9 months.” Winter calculates

“Oh you sneaky bitch.” Ningning shakes her head

It takes but only a few minutes for other truths to be revealed.

“Is that why he blew up at the table? He’s the guy you wanted to baby trap?”

“Yeah.” You look down

“And you did have his hoodie on that day?”

You didn’t have anything to say for yourself, you were just ashamed.

“I can’t believe you lied to me. To my face.”

“She’s been lying to all of us.”

“Hold up… you said you had sex in your bed…” Ningning pauses “in this bed?” She points down gesturing to the bed.

“Yeah? Why?” Your question is answered when they all immediately jump off the bed and scream.

“Come on guys, I washed the sheets.”

“When’s the last time you guys hooked up?” winter asks

“Well I wouldn't call it hooking up, I’d say more love making, we have emotions between us when we do what we do.”

“Answer the question.” they yell at you collectively, you’ve always found it amusing how in sync they were.

“When I went to the fall festival with Shotaro.”

“Was this before or after he popped the question?” giselle asks

“After…” you say while looking to the side.

“Wow, you’re evil.”

“Poor shotaro. You’ve been cheating on him this entire time.” Ningning sighs

“We were never dating.” you say

“Yeah and you never will with this type of behavior.” She adds

“You and Wonbin? I’m still trying to imagine it.” Karina says

“I Can Girl, and it is not a pretty sight.” Giselle responds

The voices of the other girls are drowned out when you stare at the messages that Wonbin sent you. “I missed you.” Pops out the most to you. You bite your lip thinking about being exclusive with him.

While you’re still reviewing the text you see the text bubbles arise leaving you anxious to see what he’s about to say next.

Whilst going over the messages there’s a knock at the door. You along with all of the girls towards the door and they all turn to look at you.

“I think it’s your man.” Ningning teases

“God I hope not.”

“Well hurry and answer it.” Winter rushes you

Your feet drag towards the door, not really wanting to face him right now and especially not when you have your girls watching you.

However everything goes out of the window when you see his face. You don’t remember why you were fighting and start to question how you thought you could go without seeing him like this again.

“Oh guys, it’s wonbin. Ha ha.”

“What are you doing here?”

You don’t need to look to know that the girls are watching you like you’re on drugs. So instead of carrying this act on further you just stand back and let him in.

“Just.. come in.”

“You know what, now that I’ve seen it. I totally get it.” Karina admits

“Me too. They’d have the cutest babies.” Ningning exclaims

“Babies?” You question

“They’d be annoying too, please wear protection?” Winter adds

“Our babies wouldn’t be…” you stop when you realize what it is you’re saying. “There aren’t gonna be any babies.”

“Sure.” one of them say sarcastically

They all make their way to the entrance and start to leave. The last one to go is Ningning who looks at both of you one last time and says.

“No, you definitely chose the right one.” Before smiling at you and leaving you to answer Wonbin’s new set of questions.

“What’s she talking about?”

“We were talking about my apartment unit. I was questioning whether I got the right layout or not.”

Wonbin was right, you weren’t at all as innocent as you looked. Your ability to come up with a clever lie on the spot was a talent that you praised yourself on. All the practicing was really paying off.

“What made you change your mind? about us?” He placed his hands on each side of your hips and asked.

“Well we were talking and I realized that I couldn’t hide it anymore.”

Boyfriend Wonbin was completely different from hookup Wonbin. PDA was his love language, which you were still getting used to.

The campus is full of students just trying to go about their day and get to their next activity. You easily blend in as one of those fairly busy students. Just making your way down the campus field when you hear your name being called from behind you.

“Let me walk you to class.” He says while cuffing your hands with his.

You hesitate to answer.

“Um okay.”

As soon as those words leave your mouth his fingers are intertwined in yours. Now walking through campus just simply holding hands has your heart racing.

Constantly looking over your shoulder to see if there’s actually eyes on you or if you're just hallucinating.

When your relationship was hidden you imagined things like this, holding his hand in public for everyone to see. Claiming him as yours. But now that you had the opportunity you were paranoid.

You’re not sure what you’re scared of until you see the girl who’s name you never learned, talking with her friends right in front of your class

“Text me when you get out of class.”

“Yeah.. okay.”

You say while still eyeing the brown haired girl opposite of him. You don’t know her but you feel extremely guilty about what you’ve dragged her into.

you only pull your eyes away when he uses his first two fingers and guides your face towards him. “I'm right here, baby.”

“don’t call me that, what if they hear you.”

“hear what? me talking to my girlfri-“

the second you begin to hear the “g” word you push your lips on his to shush him up. it wasn’t the best thing to do but it just happened instinctively.

and now you were beyond embarrassed.

“I'll see you later.”

When you turn away to go into class he pulls you back and places a softer kiss on your lips.

“Study hard.” he cheers you on as you walk into the classroom.

“Do you have yesterday's notes, I left my laptop with Wonbin.” Shotaro nudges you.

“Yeah, of course. how is he by the way, it’s been a while since we talked.” you ask.

“really? I thought he said he was with you a few days ago?” he questions

“Umm, now that I think about it. We did hang out a little. I forgot about it for a second, sorry.”

“I'm glad you guys are getting along again.”

you feel it again, the guilt.

“I mean things are still a little awkward, we’re not that close.” You lie again.

“It’s still progress.”

It was definitely progress just not in the way that he thinks.

Your hour and 30 minute class felt like an eternity. With shotaro right beside you and wonbin’s former date in front of you, you felt like the walls were closing in on you.

The second class is over, you make a run for it. Quickly tossing your bag over your shoulder and scurrying out before shotaro or anyone else could stop you. But as soon as you step out of the classroom door you’re met with a smiley Wonbin waiting patiently for you.

“How was class?” he asks while slipping his hands into yours and swinging his arms back and forth.

You’d love to just sit and talk with him, but only of course in the privacy of your apartment. Not here where Shotaro could easily see you, holding hands with the one person that you just told him you haven’t heard from.

Wonbin observes when you gently pull your hand from his and back away from him. “It was okay, I’m kinda busy though now. So I’m gonna-”

“Wonbin, what are you doing over here? Isn’t your class across campus?” shotaro walks out with an unknowing smile hanging between his cheeks.

“To pick up-”

“He said he was here to give you your laptop back.”

You stop him mid sentence and wrap your arm around his shoulder to stop him from grabbing your hand again. You can feel the heat of Wonbins eyes watching you but you try to ignore it as you keep focused on shotaro.

“I don’t have it with me.” he says confused,

The two of them standing in front of you at the same time makes your heart pound outside of your chest. Scared that Shotaro might reveal that he asked you to be his girlfriend, or that wonbin might uncover that you’re his girlfriend.. So what would anyone do in these kinds of situations? Lie. You were already doing that a ton these days.

“That’s interesting, well we’ll see you later. Wonbin and I have a project to finish up,” you say in a hurry, pulling Wonbin away by his wrist before either of them could question anything.

Spending everyday hiding and lying to everyone was more tiring than you thought it'd be. But despite all of that there were a few positives to this relationship with your newfound boyfriend.. Things like sitting with legs horizontally across his lap while he goes over the notes for his history class.

There’s nothing to be said, it’s completely silent other than the sounds coming from the world outside of your apartment. You liked it this way. Just being in silence with him, skin on skin, heartbeats in sync. Your fingers playing in his hair out of habit, watching him carefully review the contents of his lap. When you notice a little black leather book hanging out of his bag.

“What’s this?” you say while leaning over to pick it up. Wonbin only looks up at you and then towards the book that you’re leaning to get and immediately he reaches to get it before you do.

“Just a notebook.” he says, holding it away from you.

“Well let me see it, it’s pretty.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Just let me see it.” you whine while pushing yourself further over top of him just to reach the notebook in his hand. By the time you finally get to the notebook, you let out a small giggle of victory. And run on the other side of the room.

The book isn’t too big, just big enough to fit into the palm of your hand with a small latch on the front and some small pattern art indented onto the front and the back. You don’t think to open it until he says “Okay, you’ve seen it. Give it back.”

“I’m not done looking.” you tease inspecting the book more, unlatching the hook to read the contents inside the book.

“Ooh Is this your poetry? I didn’t know you write.”

He’s talking but you don’t hear anything he says when you begin to read a random page of the small book aloud.

Fragile like a butterfly, soft like the petals of a healthy rose. You're stuck in my brain like lyrics to a catchy song. If you were a book I'd read you over and over again. If you were a movie I'd watch you repeatedly, but you don't have to be a book or a movie for me to enjoy watching you, reading the scriptures of your eyes like literature. feeling the texture of your skin as if you were made from braille. holding onto your hips as if the flesh of your body was the only source to eternal life. breathing in your scent as if you were made from the finest perfume.

cherishing you now, because I know I'll never find anything better.

“Aww you’re so romantic.” you tease again before finding another random page to read.

What do you call this?

the feeling I get in my stomach when I see you? the emotions I feel when you kiss me. the pit in my stomach when I see you smiling with someone else.

Is this what love feels like?

What do you call it when I start to smile to myself when I see something that reminds me of you.

when there's no one else in the world that makes me feel the way you do.

Is this what love feels like?

What do I do when you don't feel the same way? when loving you feels like self-inflicted torture. when you're both the remedy and sickness.

I hope this isn't what love feels like.

“Wait, is this…”you begin asking but trail off when you realize it's probably not what you’re thinking.

“All of these are about you.”

“Why?” you say the first thing that comes to mind, but retract shortly after you redirect the question. “I didn’t know you felt this way?”

You keep your eyes on him even as he stands up and walks over to you. “You really couldn’t tell?”

“How could I, when you’re always talking and flirting with someone new in front of me. Or that girl from the festival? You know you don’t really do a good job at showing people you care for them.”

“Okay so how do you feel?” he redirects the focus onto you.

“I really really like you obviously?” he’s looking at you but you’re trying to look everywhere else but in his direction. He’s watching you like he’s waiting for you to say something else, and you both know what he’s expecting you to say.

“I love you. I really love you. You don’t need me to tell you that.”

“I do, I need you to tell me everyday.”

By now you’re speechless. Not because you have nothing to say but because you have so much to say you don’t even know where to start. You could tell him that you’ve been in love with him for so long that it felt like forever or you could tell him that he’s crazy for not knowing how you felt about him. Or you could just kiss him, because that should be enough to say everything all at once without saying anything at all. And that’s what you choose.

As more time goes on you feel that Ningning was right. You definitely did choose the right one, there wasn’t anyone else that fit you better than wonbin. Shotaro was close but he just wasn’t the same. You don’t know what it is about him that you love, but being with him just puts your mind at ease.

you’d gotten more comfortable with doing a couple things in public. things like holding hands, and kissing. that is of course until you spot shotaro walking up, that’s when you pull your hand away and make up some silly lie that you have to get something from your car.

or other times where you didn’t have time to run away so you just have to push wonbin away and lie about his hands being sweaty.

you were getting more creative with the lies.

“today we should go for frozen yogurt.” wonbin speaks while swinging your arms together.

“ooh i’ve been wanting ice cream.”

“I said frozen yogurt…“

“oh my god what is that?”

“what’s what?”

“I think I just saw a huge rat run that way, we’ll just have to take the stairs.”

“a rat?”

“yeah it was huge, come on. this way.” you try to hurry and pull him away but he isn’t budging. still searching for the rat that you claimed to have seen.

“where?”

there wasn’t a rat, it was just sohee. walking towards you with a bright teeth showing smile and glistening eyes. like he always does.

“Hey guys.”

“Sohee~” you drag out his name, as he approaches you and wonbin. By now you’d given up on trying to break physical contact with Wonbin. He shifted his hand from yours to wrapping his arm around your waist, and rested his chin right on your shoulder.

“Have you seen Shotaro?”

“No. I don’t think so.”

“Oh, He’s looking for you. By the way, how did you do in the history term?’

“I aced it.” you giggle excitedly.

“That’s my girl.” You blush when wonbin kisses your cheek as a reward.

“What about you?” Judging by his face you can tell that he didn’t do too well but you still wait for his answer giving him the benefit of the doubt.

“I think it’s time for me to find a new life path.” he trails off closer to the end.

“Oh come on it couldn’t have been that bad.” you say hopefully

“The professor told me to start looking for a new life path.”

“Oh…” both you and wonbin say at the same time.

“I’m thinking about maybe just starting my own bakery.”

“I didn’t know you baked?” wonbin adds

“I don’t, but I mean how hard could it be?” He finishes with a shrug of his shoulders

“You’ve burnt french fries in the microwave.” You remind him.

“I thought the tin foil would make it heat up faster.'' Sohee defends himself, but he really doesn't need to. You were there when Karina told him that putting foil in the microwave would save 99% of his time. And did he believe her? Well, yes. Yes he did.

“yea…” you start but you don’t really have anything to say. Sohee wasn't the brightest but he was adorable and he had a good heart.

“Anyways, I’m going to join the rest of the crew in the food court. You guys coming?” He asks

“Yeah, we’ll be there soon.” You answer.

“Kk bye.” he says while walking past you towards the food court.

—--

“Have you guys seen Y/N?” shotaro asks while sitting down at the table with his tray of food in his hands.

“I haven’t seen her all day, I don’t think.” Giselle answers while picking up her phone to see if you responded to the message she sent you earlier.

“Neither have I.” Ningning confirms while looking around the area.

“Did she come today?” karina ask

“I hope so, I asked her something a while ago and i’m waiting for her to give me an answer?” shotaro admits. His statement makes all the girls look at eachother, trying to come up with a way to cover for you without looking suspicious. Luckily just in the nick of time sohee walks over to the table with seunghan.

“Sohee, Have you seen Y/N?” Winter asks before he could even take a seat.

“Uh yeah she was with wonbin.” Sohee says without a second thought.

“Those two have been real close lately.” seunghan adds

Ningning, karina and winter all exchange looks while Giselle looks to shotaro to make sure he doesn’t pick up on what’s going on. “They’re not as close as you’d think.” she defends you

“Yeah, are you sure they were together?” Ningning questions, even though she knew the answer.

“Yeah. positive. I told her that shotaro was looking for her, and wonbin had his arm around her which I thought was weird but maybe- OW.’ sohee stops when Karina kicks him under the table.

“Are you really sure it was Y/n?”

“I’m very sure.” he says while looking around the table to find everyone giving him unbelieving stares. “Guys, come on, I know Y/n when I see her, I’m not stupid.” he looked around once again hoping that maybe someone would believe him but instead the table just burst into a collective laugh.

“Says the one who mixed bleach with ammonia and layed on the floor for five hours because you thought you were dead.” ningning giggles

“Says the one who thought Antarctica and amnesia were the same thing.” Giselle adds.

“Says the one who microwaved their fork and killed our microwave for the fifth time.” Seunghan comes in.

“What is it with you and microwaves?” Winter questions and causes the table to erupt in laughter again.

“Okay so I’m not mr einstein.”

“Far from it.” Suenghan says under his breath

“Like galaxies away from it.” winter mocks

“Oh come on? You guys have made mistakes too.”

“Yes, but none of us have put toothpaste on a cracked phone because a random youtuber told us to.” Winter responds

“I just know your guardian angels are stressed.” Karina laughs.

“Should I just call her?” shotaro speaks up and the whole table goes silent. The girls are trying to figure out what to say to keep him from stressing out too much over you, and sohee is still trying to think of a comeback that won’t get him clowned again.

“Yeah, or maybe just text her. She might be busy right now.”

You don’t know if “busy” was the word you’d use to describe what it was you were doing with wonbin in the janitor's closet, but you could definitely say you were too occupied to answer any phone calls, including one’s from Shotaro.

“Yeah, I’ll just text her.” he agrees lowly while pulling out his phone and shooting you a text. You heard your phone vibrate but you simply ignored it as wonbin continued to kiss you, pushing you further against the wall knocking down the brooms and mops beside you.

After missing 20 minutes of your next class you finally get time to read the messages on your phone. Which makes your heart drop, you wonder if you’re ever going to get to a point in your relationship where you don’t feel guilty for being with wonbin.

Taro:) : Are you busy?

Taro:) : Can we talk?

You don’t even know how to answer him when you’re right beside wonbin. Who’s watching you read the messages with a frowned expression written all over your face.

“What’s wrong?” he asks while reading the text on your screen.

“Nothing.” you mumble while clicking your phone off and placing it in your back pocket. “I just have to hurry and get to my next class. I’m not usually this late.”

“What does he wanna talk about?” wonbin asks, not giving you the chance to escape the topic.

“I don’t know. It’s probably an assignment or something.”

“Assignments don’t usually make you this upset.”

“I’m not upset.” you shout just a little, enough to startle the both of you.

“I’m not too convinced.”

“There’s nothing wrong, I just have to go before I’m even more late than I already am.”

“Okay then let me walk you there,”

“I’m fine going by myself.” while walking away, your steps come out more like stomps as you get away from him. You didn’t mean to take your frustration out on him, you just needed time to yourself to think. There was only a matter of time before Shotaro asked for your answer, and you just didn't know what you were going to tell him.

You just didn’t expect that time to be now, as you run tight into shotaro not too far from where you left Wonbin.

“Hey? You’re here.”

“Yeah, Sorry I’m really late for class.” you rush, trying to avoid eye contact with him.

“Can we talk on the way?” He stops you so you can’t rush off again. He’s looking at you like he really needs to talk but you don’t know how to say “No.” Already knowing exactly what it is he wanted to talk about. “We’ll have to talk after class, I’m already super late. I’m sorry.” You slowly run holding up your hands together as a way to say sorry.

You think you’ll find peace in your history lecture. Maybe learning about events that were completely irrelevant to you will make you forget about the web of lies that you’ve wrapped yourself into. However your thoughts are going a mile a minute, trying to think about how you’re going to approach Shotaro after class.

Anxiously tapping your pencil at your notebook, watching the numbers increase each time the minute changes and changing focus from the lecture to the small black notebook peeking out from under your other notebooks.

You’re trying to avoid its non-existent gaze on you, but it’s basically screaming “read me, read me.” so you obey. Slowly reaching to pick up the book and unlatch the hook. Going to read the very first page.

Being with you is like listening to the waves crash upon the shore's surface at night. Peaceful and calming, but I never know when the waves are going to crash too close. Serenity and excitement, you're like the different shades of green. like spring rain and winter snow, you're the beautiful parts of life that no one would ever want to live without.

Well that wasn’t a good idea, you think to yourself as you're now on the verge of tears in the middle of class. Yet it still doesn’t stop you from reading more confessions from the book. Turning pages as the seconds went by with more and more tears streaming down your cheek.

You find again that Ningning was right, not that you really needed any more convincing. But now it’s just too obvious, there’s no one else for you other than Park Wonbin and with that your mind's made up. Once you see Shotaro again, you’re just gonna be completely honest with him. No more lying, no more hiding and no more leading him on. You’re just going to tell him everything.

“Yeah sure you can come over tonight.” You smile at Shotaro.

Well that wasn’t the plan. It seemed so much easier when you were only thinking about it, but seeing his face light up when you called his name, and the excitement that lingered in his voice when he asked to come over got the best of you. That feeling of shame teasing at you once again.

So now here you are, alone in your apartment with shotaro. It’s funny to think that you were just here in this same place with wonbin the night prior. Actually funny isn’t the word you’d use to describe it, maybe more like nauseating. The way he’s looking at you, the way you wish it were your boyfriend here filling his place instead. The way you feel the words sit heavy on your tongue but you just can’t seem to say them aloud.

“I’m dating Wonbin.” you think to yourself over and over again. If you think about it long enough you’ll just say it eventually. But you don’t, it never comes out. In fact nothing really comes out. The room is filled with awkwardness, you feel it and shotaro does too. The kind of awkwardness that you’ve never felt with shotaro before and you don’t know how that makes you feel.

Well you know it doesn’t feel good, that’s for sure. You never wanted your relationship with wonbin to change your relationship with the rest of your friends and especially not Shotaro. But things happen, and it’s funny how they do. Because Shotaro was here first, you had a crush on him for the longest time, when did it change from you and Shotaro to you and wonbin.

“You missed it, everyone was making fun of Sohee and microwaves today.” Shotaro speaks up trying to cover the weird silence, but you don’t help when you only laugh lightly.

“Do you remember when he thought he had superpowers and could see at night.”

“And he fell down the stairs.” you finish his sentence off. “Yeah that was so funny. He’s so funny.”

It’s not as quiet anymore but god is it still really awkward. You know all of this could be solved if one of you addresses the elephant in the room, and you hoped it would be him because you just didn’t have the balls to do it.

“So…”

“Yeah.” you hurriedly speak, assuming what he’s going to say.

“There’s an art exhibit tomorrow happening near the school.” You can’t help the way your heart drops when he begins to talk. “I already got 2 tickets, hoping that maybe we could go together.”

“Fuck.” you think. That’s definitely not what you were expecting him to say, and now you’re trying your best to control your facial expression. This should’ve been the time for you to come clean, for you to just lay it all out. But you’re a coward, so instead you give him a small smile and agree to go on yet another date with him.

Was this cheating? You’re not sure but it’s definitely debatable. Going on a date with a friend that you knew was very into you while you had a boyfriend. But does it count if he wasn’t supposed to be your boyfriend in the first place?

It was wrong, that’s for sure. But to be honest, when have you done anything right? You see the way he leaves your apartment with a hopeful expression. Knowing that he’s gonna go back to his place and think about you.

And that’s the very thought that keeps you up all night.

“You look like shit.” Ningning says as she approaches you. She was right, you had bags under your eyes, you’d thrown on a random t-shirt and you didn’t even bother to fix your hair this morning.

“Thanks.”

“Sorry, I mean. Ooh you look like shit, what happened?” she says in a gentler, more sincere tone this time.

“I just couldn’t sleep last night.”

“Damn, ya’ll went all night?” she whispers this time.

“What? No. I just couldn’t sleep.” you choose to leave out all the details as to why you were up most of the night.

“Are you going through withdrawals?”

“Withdrawals?”

“You know…” she motions her arms into a humping motion “withdrawals.”

“Why is everything about sex with you?”

“I don’t know actually?” she turns her head to the side as she actually begins to think about your question.

“Anyways, what are you doing later today?”

“Shotaro and I are going to see the art exhibit?”

“You and Shotaro?” she asks with one eyebrow cocked up.

“Like a date?” she continues.

“I think that’s what he thinks.” you sigh.

“So, you still haven’t told him yet?”

“I just can’t find the right words.” your lips go into a pout.

“I’m. Fucking. Wonbin. Three words.” she says putting an emphasis on the first three words.

“It’s not that easy?” you throw your hands up.

“Okay so how are you going to tell wonbin?” she asks, referring to your date with Shotaro.

“Tell me what?” wonbin walks up behind you casually wrapping his arms around your waist and greeting your cheek with a kiss.

“Tell you about how much she loves you” Ningning gleams.

“That I have a date with Shotaro.” You state bluntly.

“A date?” he asks, pulling himself away from you.

“Well he thinks it's a date.” you add before he could get too upset.

“And I think it’s my time to go.” ningning says, pointing her thumb in another direction before sneaking off.

“Why does he think that?” Wonbin asks, and you could see that he was very obviously getting irritated.

You take your time to answer him, not knowing exactly how to put it.

“I haven’t told him… about us.. Yet.” you drag out, while playing with the hem of your shirt, and avoiding eye contact.

“And why not?”

“Well he asked me to be his girlfriend.” you admit looking to the side.

“And?”

“I still haven’t given him an answer?” you spill out yet another confession.

“Do you like him?”

“Not anymore.” you look up gaging his expression.

“Not anymore?”

“Well, to be honest. Shotaro had asked me to be his girlfriend, and he told me to think about it. And when I thought about it I figured that I should just be with him, because I didn’t think that you really cared about me so I went to text him but I accidentally texted you and now we're dating.”

“Wait, what?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen. But I don’t like shotaro like that. I love you, it’s been you for a long time.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I’m really sorry wonbin, please understand.” you plead, reaching for his hand but he’s quick to snatch it away.

“Have fun with Shotaro, Y/N,” is all he says before he walks away.

Great, you looked and now you felt like shit. You really didn’t mean for any of this to happen, and now you don’t know what you’re gonna do. You also don’t know why it took this for you to realize just how much you really loved wonbin. Because seeing him pull his hand away from you and the pain in his eyes was enough to knock the wind right out of your lungs.

You’re walking with Shotaro through the exhibit seeing art that’d usually have you in awe, but at the moment you just don’t have enough energy to really care about the beautiful pieces in front of you. Just small hums here and there when shotaro expresses how interesting he thinks everything is. It only takes a few bland answers for him to finally stop you and ask what’s wrong.

“You seem down? Is everything okay?”

“Yeah…”

“What’s wrong?”

Before you thought of Shotaro as a lover, he was your friend. You used to feel comfortable telling him anything, and you missed that. Really because right now, you could use your friend.

“Wonbin broke up with me.” you let out, and he pauses before he says anything.

“What do you mean?”

“I haven’t been completely honest with you.” you say

“Okay?”

You wanna tell him everything, but you don’t know where to start. So, you start at the beginning. You tell him that the both of you have been seeing each other for months, you explain everything that happened after the festival, and you tell him about the contact slip up.

“Umm, wow.”

“I’m sorry I should’ve told you all of this sooner, I just didn’t wanna ruin anything.”

“So you like, really like Wonbin?”

“I do yeah.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Huh?”

“Go get him, go.” He rushes you off. And you listen to him, heading towards the exit with your phone in your hand, and Wonbin’s contact on your screen. You tried calling him a few times but it went directly to voicemail each time.

When calling doesn’t work you decide to just show up in front of his apartment. You had a game plan on the way there but everything went out of the window when you were standing there face to face with his door. You hold your hand up to knock but you don’t, instead you just keep your hand up contemplating if this is a good idea or not. After a few seconds you tap the door a few times with your knuckles and wait to see if he’ll answer the door.

When he doesn’t you knock again, and gasp when he opens the door on the second knock.

“What?” Is the single word that leaves his mouth when sees you.

“I told Shotaro about us,” You say quietly, hoping that it would be enough for him to forgive you.

“Us?” He questions, and that’s when you audibly hear your heart drop and shatter. Tears are threatening to fall and your hands begin tugging at your clothes.

“Please don’t do this Wonbin.” you cry.

“I’m only correcting the mistake you made.” He speaks bluntly showing no reaction to your tears.

“I already told you that I only want you. I only agreed to date him because I thought my feelings for you weren’t reciprocated.” you explain.

“How do you expect me to feel knowing that you never had intentions to be with me, knowing that you were going to choose him instead?”

“You can’t blame me for having my doubts,when before we got together you were flirting with every girl on the campus.”

“Only to get a reaction out of you.” he confesses

“Why would you do that?”

Wonbin had a horrible way of communicating, so rather than just telling you that he really wanted to be with you, he talked and entertained random innocent girls where he knew you could see him. Thinking that if you got upset you’d do something about it. Plus he loved seeing you get all mad and possessive over him.

“I don’t know, I just wanted to know how you felt.”

“I love you wonbin, god I really fucking love you. If you’re ever wondering how I feel just ask me. I hate seeing you with someone else-” You stop for a moment when you notice how he’s looking at you. His expression is very different from the one he had when he opened the door a few moments ago.

It’s softer now, he’s watching you like he can read the words that leave your lips. It's similar to the look he usually gives you when he's listening to you talk about something you care about, but this one is more intense.

“It makes me wanna rip my heart out of my chest.” you finish.

He’s not saying anything, and it scares you. Part of you wants to read his mind, find out what he’s thinking. And the rest of you? Well, you want to disappear.

“Please say something.” you almost whisper, feeling the urge to cry again after your first set of tears begin to dry.

Instead of saying anything he gradually gets closer to you while maintaining eye contact, and it has your heart racing because he still isn’t saying anything. The only time your heart calms is when he gently places his lips on yours and pulls you into his apartment by your waist.

This kiss feels different than all the other kisses you’ve shared, this time you didn’t feel like you were doing anything wrong, it was romantic and honest. Filled with passion and pure love, the kiss feels like the kisses described only in fairy tales.

“Does this mean you forgive me?” you ask when you break the kiss, smiling at his pink soft and swollen lips.

“I forgave you the second you knocked on the door.”

[prdx-invdr]

୨୧⸝⸝﹕if you call me a fool, then i’ll be a fool.

SUMMARY! you’ve been in love with park wonbin since the day the two of you met and never found the courage to tell him. why is it that you find yourself yearning to confess the moment someone else comes into the picture?

PAIRING! park wonbin x fem!reader

GENRE! college!au, slice of life, fluff, angst (an attempt was made), friends to lovers, IDIOTS to lovers omg WC 8.1k

WARNING! swearing, jealousy, y/n likes wonbin an insane amount girl get up, insecurity, anton instigates like it’s his job and he’s up for a promotion, random female idol is mentioned many times (nothing against her!!), not proofread

NOTE! do u guys know what song the title is from lol.. LOL also i had another wonbin fic i wanted to post and deleted it bc it sucked so actually im posting this one as a coping mechanism

you don’t realize the way you’re staring at the back of wonbin’s head until a voice snaps you out of your trance. “do you know what you want?” shotaro asks you, waving a hand in front of your face.

currently, the two of you, along with wonbin, seunghan, and anton, are standing in line at a beverage kiosk. the latter, having already received his drink, stands to your right while shotaro stands to your left. seunghan recites his order to the employee while wonbin stands idly behind him.

“don’t even bother asking,” anton chortles, lips still wrapped around his straw. “she’s probably gonna have wonbin order for her, like always.” you lightly slap him in the arm after the words leave his mouth, eyes darting to the aforementioned boy standing merely 2 inches in front of you, hoping he hadn’t heard anton’s teasing.

“i didn’t even say anything wrong! he orders for you all the time!” the boy whines, jokingly rubbing his arm where you had hit him.

shotaro lets out a curt laugh at the interaction, knowing that anton’s words held truth to them, whether you liked to admit it or not. “it’s because she’s shy. right, y/n?” he turns to you, attempting to diffuse your embarrassment. one look at the smile on his face and anyone would be able to tell that his words were complete bullshit. the two of you knew that the real reason you liked having wonbin order for you was because you liked him.

however, for your own sake, you sigh and choose to agree with shotaro’s statement, only offering a small nod. “whatever,” anton mutters under his breath, walking over to seunghan who has his own beverage in hand.

now that you, shotaro and wonbin were the only people in line, shotaro grabs your sleeve and gently pulls you backwards, putting more distance between the two of you and the boy who was now placing his order. before shotaro says anything, you know what the topic of conversation is going to be.

“do you ever plan on telling him?” is all he inquires, his voice lowering to a whisper. you avoid his piercing gaze, instead turning to look at anton and seunghan, laughing in between sips of their respective drinks. anton is already nearly finished with his, you note.

when you’re done observing them, you shift your attention to wonbin, who has his arms crossed as he points at one of the cup sizes the kiosk has on display, indicating that it’s the one he wants.

you’re unable to see his face but you’re able to picture it better than anything. the way his lip quirks upwards in an attempt to be polite to the employee. the furrow of his brow as he asks a question.

shotaro sighs at your silence and finds it astonishing how you’re able to ogle wonbin without even looking at his face. that very sigh brings you back into reality, finally meeting the gaze of the boy currently interrogating you.

“he… doesn’t think of me that way,” you slowly tell him, as if the words would physically pain you if you uttered them too quickly. shotaro lets out a noise you can only assume was meant to be a scoff, but being passive aggressive simply doesn’t run in his blood.

“are you kiddi-“ shotaro is interrupted by wonbin holding a drink in front of your face, thus putting a barrier between the two of you. “here, y/n,” the long haired boy hums, not moving from his spot until you take the beverage filled plastic cup. if you didn’t have park wonbin tunnel vision, as shotaro likes to call it, you’d see the way anton is shaking his head and letting out a short laugh in disbelief upon witnessing the interaction. “called it,” he tells seunghan, who only blinks in confusion.

“i wasn’t sure which one you wanted, but i remembered that time we went to that other drink place and you said you really liked the strawberry one, so i got you that,” wonbin explains, holding his own straw up to his mouth. he says it nonchalantly, as if you could either finish the drink in about 5 seconds before proclaiming how much you enjoyed it, or you could throw it to the ground and curse at him for assuming the flavor you wanted, and he wouldn’t flinch either way.

“um— yes— yeah, i..” you stutter, and shotaro swears it takes everything in him not to slap his own forehead at your sudden jumpiness. “i like it, thank you. you didn’t have to, wonbin,” you exhale, holding your drink with both hands.

“yeah, well, force of habit, you know?” the boy laughs. “since i’m always ordering for you anyway.” his words cause you to tense and you can just picture anton’s shit-eating grin after he heard what wonbin said. “right, yeah,” you nod, wanting the conversation to be over with. the 5 of you continue walking throughout the mall, seunghan complaining about what a ridiculous amount of time you had all just spent at that beverage kiosk.

“force of habit is crazy,” anton decides to tease you again, earning another slap on the arm. “stop hitting me!”

besides ordering drinks for you when you hadn’t requested for him to do so, anton has noticed that wonbin also tends to subconsciously let you get away with… a lot.

he doesn’t even attempt to hide the way he rolls his eyes when he walks into the living room and sees none other than you and wonbin, the latter seated on the carpeted floor while you’re situated on the couch behind him, playing with his hair.

“i shouldn’t have come in here,” he mutters, barely audible. he’s unsure if he wanted you and wonbin to hear him, but your head snaps in his direction nonetheless. “hey, anton,” you greet him despite knowing that he’d have a lot to say about your current position. he nods his head in acknowledgement before pursing his lips. you brace yourself for whatever comment he’ll inevitably make next, morphing your lips into a straight line.

“you know,” anton starts, and you’re already holding back the urge to groan. “wonbin never lets any of us touch his hair like that.”

“right, because you guys are always so eager to play with my hair, huh?” wonbin quips sarcastically. anton shrugs, although wonbin isn’t looking at him. “so you’re saying if we wanted to, we could?” anton questions, moving across the living room to grab his phone charger, finally remembering why he had walked into the room in the first place.

“nah,” wonbin replies, “not sure why you’d want to, anyway.”

“i don’t see you questioning why y/n wants to do it,” anton insists, already making his way out of the room, pausing momentarily to hear wonbin’s response.

“she doesn’t need a reason,” his older friend says, “she’s y/n.” anton shakes his head and continues on his way. you resume treading your hand through wonbin’s hair as if nothing had happened, but unbeknownst to the boy sitting in front of you, your heart rate had increased at his words.

“he’s just jealous,” wonbin jokes. you only let out a short laugh in response. you wonder how he would react if you informed him that anton had actually sprung up that conversation because he knows about your tremendous crush on the raven haired boy.

“do you think you’d ever go blonde?” you inquire, changing the subject. he lets out a snort and tilts his head to look back at you. you’re grinning, trying to ignore the way your heart does somersaults in your chest.

“i don’t think the world is ready for that,” he laughs.

“what are we laughing about in here?” a voice sings from the door way, ripping your attention away from wonbin. you turn to the perpetrator and lock eyes with sungchan, who sends you a smile. you wave at him and he takes it as an invitation to sit himself down on the couch beside you.

“nothing much,” wonbin answers. your hands finally retreat from his hair and you miss the way his shoulders slump in response.

“right,” sungchan nods, turning his attention to whatever you and wonbin are watching on tv. in actuality, neither you nor him have been paying the television any mind for at least an hour, and only now do you realize that some sort of ocean documentary has been playing this whole time.

a few minutes of silence proceed before sungchan clasps his hands together and stands up from the couch abruptly, startling you.

“man, this has been boring,” he announces, eyes darting between the two of you, seated in the same positions as when he first entered the room. “do you guys even talk?”

“we were, actually, before you walked in,” wonbin mutters, not meaning for his words to come out as sourly as they do. sungchan raises his hands in the air in defense. “hey, my bad. i didn’t realize the two of you were having an ocean documentary date,” he retorts.

“we’re not having-“ you’re about to correct him, only for him to cut you off.

“but, you know, bin,” he says, “i’m not sure how sangah would feel about you having a movie date with another girl.”

you feel like your entire world freezes over the moment you hear those words leave sungchan’s mouth. you quickly rid your face of your crestfallen expression, not wanting to give yourself away.

“who?” you can’t stop yourself from asking, and sungchan just stares at you. wonbin waves his hand dismissively, shaking his head in annoyance. “shut up, dude.”

“wait, y/n doesn’t know about sangah?” sungchan asks, a genuinely confused look crossing over his features. “i thought you guys told each other everything.”

wonbin groans in irritation. “i haven’t told anyone, actually, because it doesn’t matter. you only know because you’re nosy as fuck.”

sungchan chuckles, and you would attempt to let out a halfhearted laugh if you didn’t feel like your chest was aching. you lick your lips and stare questioningly at the side of wonbin’s head.

“look, bro,” sungchan gestures towards you, causing wonbin to turn around and meet your disheartened eyes. his face drops slightly, and you’re not in the correct headspace to try and pinpoint why. “she’s upset because you didn’t tell her!” his friend chimes.

wonbin shakes his head, still looking at you. “she’s just some girl,” he huffs. “i don’t even know her that well.”

you scoff before plastering a wobbly smile onto your face. “i’m not upset,” your voice quivers and you hope that wonbin doesn’t notice it. you’re not sure why he decides to reassure you about sangah— whoever that is— but you pray that it’s not because he’s known about your pathetic crush on him all this time and is now feeling bad for you because he’s currently seeing someone.

of course, only your cruel mind could formulate such a sickening thought.

“i’m just.. surprised,” you conclude with an unconvincing nod. wonbin closes his eyes in annoyance, and you know it’s because of his intrusive friend standing in the doorway. “sungchan, just stop spreading shit around, alright?” he gives him a tired look, finally getting up from the floor. as wonbin makes his way past sungchan in the doorway, the taller boy gives him a playful slap on the shoulder. with wonbin having left the room, you find yourself looking to sungchan with urgency.

“who is sangah?” you plead, trying to keep your emotions at bay. the boy furrows his eyebrows, confusion settling into his features once more. “why do you care, y/n?��� he asks. you know that his question doesn’t come from a place of mockery, but rather genuine interest. it hits you in that moment that sungchan, as smart as he is, happens to be absolutely terrible at taking a hint.

somehow, when it came to the long lasting feelings you harbored for one of his closest friends, sungchan was none the wiser. you surmise that he wouldn’t have teased wonbin so openly about another girl had he known about your feelings for the long haired boy.

that, you suppose, you can’t really blame him for.

“um,” you start, “he’s one of my closest friends.” your words are spoken through gritted teeth and clenched fists. “i’m just curious, you know?” the lie comes out easier than you think it should’ve.

sungchan hums, crossing his arms and giving you a curt nod. “just some girl,” sungchan tells you, repeating wonbin’s words from a few minutes ago. “yoon sangah. she’s in our music fundamentals class. like, 2 days ago, i think, she wrote her instagram handle on a slip of paper and gave it to wonbin right in front of me.” your face falls for what seems like the millionth time in the past 10 minutes. you can only offer the tall boy a nearly inaudible hum in response.

“do you think it’ll lead to anything? you know, between her and wonbin?” again, you can’t stop yourself from asking. you feel sick at the thought of playing into the role of ‘jealous, overthinking girlfriend’, and even sicker at the fact that you and wonbin aren’t even dating. what right do you have to be inquisitive about his love life?

still, you can’t help it. when sungchan takes a bit longer to respond to your question you fear you’re treading on dangerous territory, afraid that even the dense boy you’re conversing with may have cracked the code. the grin that he aims at you a few seconds later serves as reassurance that, no, he still doesn’t know anything.

“that’s a good question, y/n dearest,” he pats your shoulder lightly. “i guess only time will tell.”

you hate yourself for what you’re doing right now.

looking back on the conversation you had with sungchan hours prior to this moment, you recalled him mentioning that sangah had given wonbin her instagram. thus, like any normal person would do in your situation, you took it upon yourself to go through wonbin’s following list in an attempt to find her.

you scroll past your own account, past the accounts of your mutual friends, and a few people who you presume are some of wonbin’s classmates.

when you finally stumble across sangah’s account, your body fills with dread before you even see a proper photo of her.

judging by her profile picture alone, you can tell that she’s pretty. you’re fully looking at her profile now, and your frown only deepens. she’s beautiful.

you shake your head as if it would help ease your racing mind. she’s beautiful, yes, you think, but looks aren’t everything. you find yourself childishly crossing your fingers that sangah had the personality of an evil witch, so that even if wonbin fell victim to her physical charm, he’d be pushed away by her true nature.

you let out a quiet scoff. you can’t believe you’re sitting here thinking badly about another girl just because she might have a crush on the same man you’ve been in love with since the day you met him. in the same sense, you can’t believe that when you say that sentence out loud, it actually sounds a bit reasonable. you blame sungchan, for a moment, drawing the inference that you wouldn’t feel so insecure right now if it hadn’t been for his previous teasing.

you can’t stop yourself when you click on one of sangah’s posts. she doesn’t have many, but the few that she has have seemed to gather thousands of likes. despite this, you take note of the fact that wonbin doesn’t have any of them liked— thank god, you think to yourself. you start to analyze her photos, the faces she makes at the camera, the outfits she wears, the way her hair is styled. when studying her facial expressions, you wonder if she’s made those same faces while looking at wonbin. when taking her outfits into consideration, you wonder if wonbin has seen her wearing any of them and thought she looked particularly nice. whilst examining her hair, you resist the urge to rip out your own. it’s perfect. she’s perfect.

she’s perfect, and from what you can tell, you aren’t anything like her. so what does that make you?

you move to close the app, feeling filled to the brim with self doubt when you suddenly freeze as your phone vibrates. you hesitantly open your dms and your eyes widen as they fall upon the newest message.

[3:02 AM] 1bin_02: why are u awake

your heart races and you momentarily contemplate if wonbin had somehow set up a security camera in your bedroom without your knowledge because how on earth did he know?

you don’t ponder on the matter for long, the aforementioned boy sending another message merely a few seconds later.

[3:02 AM] 1bin_02: u have ur activity status turned on btw

exhaling a breath of relief, you type a response to him.

[3:03 AM] you: why are U awake park wonbin

[3:03 AM] 1bin_02: i just woke up like 5 minutes ago. my y/n senses were tingling and my unconscious body felt a disturbance

[3:04 AM] 1bin_02: kiddinggg

[3:04 AM] 1bin_02: but fr why are u awake

you hold your breath as you type out your next response, choosing to be daring. you decide that, even if it’s only for a few seconds, you’re no longer going to be a coward.

[3:06 AM] you: i was thinking about u

[3:06 AM] 1bin_02: ditto

[3:07 AM] 1bin_02: i know im amazing and everything but don’t let me stop u from getting ur beauty rest 🙄 jk

[3:07 AM] 1bin_02: gn dummy

you decide against saying anything else, shutting off your phone with a sigh. you are a dummy, you think, and the boy who had just given you that title has no idea that it’s all because of him.

you’re exhausted the next day, concluding that being awake at 3 in the morning despite knowing that you had a class at 8AM was not the best idea.

wonbin is quick to take note of this, poking you on your side as the two of you follow your usual route to your next lecture of the day. “i bet someone regrets staying up until 3AM, hm?” he doesn’t bother to hide his smirk as you swat his hand away. “like you weren’t up at 3AM, too,” you mutter. he clicks his tongue in response. “that was only for a few minutes,” he says, “who knows how long you were awake for, though.”

before you’re forced to dignify wonbin with a response, anton and seunghan walk up to the two of you, the latter offering a wave while the former only smiles.

“where are we headed, guys?” seunghan asks, throwing an arm around wonbin. the boy attempts to shrug him off to no avail. “anton and i wanted to go get drinks and we were wondering if you guys wanted to come with,” he grins before quietly adding, “and maybe also pay for them.”

you laugh and wonbin turns to you upon hearing it, letting out a playful scoff of his own. “can’t, y/n has class in 10 minutes or so,” he turns to the two boys who now have their eyebrows raised in apprehension. “that’s where we were headed,” he finishes.

“and you’re walking her there,” anton nods, his words posing as more of a statement than a question. you can only dramatically roll your eyes. wonbin doesn’t seem to pick up any undertones, only nodding in response. “i might be able to tag along afterwards, though. no promises.”

“well, anton,” seunghan sighs, turning to his friend, “we’ll just have to take shotaro inste-“

the boy is cut off by the sound of a girlish voice calling out wonbin’s name. all 4 of you turn around in unison, and you feel like your heart has physically sunken into the floor. sangah.

wonbin’s at a loss for words for a moment and you want to run away more than anything. you’re not prepared to see the two of them interact, especially after looking at her instagram page last night. “hey, sangah,” is all he says, a smile plastered on his face that pains you to look at.

the girl is practically beaming. “what are you up to?” she grins, her eyes not daring to look anywhere but him. his eyes flicker to you momentarily, who is struggling to breathe.

“i’m walking her—” he gestures to you and sangah finally looks away from him, eyes now trained on yours, “to class. well, i was, before these two showed up.” wonbin waves a hand in anton and seunghan’s direction, the two boys adorning matching confused expressions on their faces. nobody moves a muscle for a few seconds and you’re afraid that your rapid heartbeat can be heard atop of the pin-drop silence.

“oh! my bad,” wonbin clears his throat, “guys, this is sangah,” he gestures towards the girl, “sangah, this is… guys.” he gestures towards his friends. “and y/n,” he gestures towards you for the second time, giving you a tap on the shoulder for good measure. sangah’s mouth forms an ‘o’ and she reaches out to shake your hand. you’re positive that if it weren’t for the freezing hallways of your university, your hands would be sweating, so you silently thank whoever’s in charge of the ac for seemingly always having it cranked up to the max. you and the girl shake hands, her smile noticably brighter than yours.

“nice to meet you, y/n,” she says. “you, too,” is all you’re able to respond with, smile tight.

“nice to meet you guys, too,” she waves at anton and seunghan with both hands and they wave back, offering their own respective greetings in return. awkward.

you cough, attempting to break the silence. “this has been fun,” you press your lips together for a second, “but i’ve gotta get to class. hope you guys have fun at that drink place later, or whatever,” you trail off, the last part of your sentence aimed towards anton and seunghan. “and it was nice meeting you, again,” you add, making eye contact with sangah. she smiles. you don’t say anything to wonbin as you attempt to squeeze past him, but he grabs your arm. “i’m walking with you, remember?” he says. you resist the urge to look at sangah or anyone else in your vicinity for that matter, surprised at his words. this random girl who’s obviously into him is standing only a few inches away and wonbin still insists on walking you to class.

“it’s okay,” you shake your head, unsure. wonbin can tell that you’re beginning to feel upset and he desperately wishes that sangah and even seunghan and anton were anywhere but here. “y/n-“ he starts, you cut him off. “it’s fine, wonbin,” you reaffirm. it isn’t, though.

you begin to walk in the direction of your class and release a breath that you hadn’t known you were holding. deep down, you wanted wonbin to disregard your words and resume walking with you, leaving sangah and his friends standing in the hallway. but wonbin was too polite for that, and you couldn’t even turn around to see if he had continued to engage in conversation with the 3 of them because you felt tears forming in your eyes. stupid, stupid, stupid, you think to yourself.

unbeknownst to you, sangah was able to sense the tension in the atmosphere before anyone had even said anything to her. she kisses her teeth, scratching the side of her head. “i should probably go, too,” she tells wonbin. the boy can tell that she would’ve liked to talk more, but he wasn’t looking to become friends or even acquaintances with her. doing that would only give her the wrong idea, and he didn’t want to have any bad blood with someone he’d be forced to see nearly everyday in class. the boy nods in understanding, giving her a wave. “nice.. talking to you,” he bids her farewell, unsure of what to say, because whatever had just transpired definitely did not qualify as a conversation. the girl waves back with an unwavering smile, walking in the opposite direction you had gone.

“oh, man,” seunghan lets out a laugh he had been holding in, “that was the worst. please don’t ever put me through anything like that again.” anton silently agrees, cringing.

“is it just me,” wonbin starts, ignoring his friend’s remark, “or did y/n seem kind of upset before she left?”

anton stretches his arms slightly, eyes looking anywhere but at his dark haired friend. “wonder why that might be,” he muses under his breath, but wonbin catches it. “what do you mean?” he pushes, looking his younger friend in the eye. anton puts his hands in the air in mock surrender.

“anton, what the hell do you mean?” wonbin asks again, voice tinged with annoyance. anton shakes his head, “figure it out.”

seunghan watches his friends go back and forth, a bit confused himself. much like sungchan, he seems to be completely oblivious when it comes to the way you feel about wonbin.

you’re currently sitting in class wondering why you even bothered to show up.

you knew before you even sat down that you wouldn’t be able to process a single word of the lecture, your mind thinking over your first official encounter with sangah.

ever since last night, you’ve started to dread moments like these— none of your friends being around to distract you, leaving you alone with your own miserable thoughts. it feels as though each minuscule moment of silence is filled with your insecurities being pushed to the forefront of your mind.

what did they talk about after you had left? did seunghan and anton decide to leave shortly after, leaving wonbin and sangah alone? did they grow closer in the small amount of time they were left together? even worse, what if the amount of time they spent together wasn’t small at all? oh god, what if they’re still together right now?

had anton, seunghan or, worst of all, wonbin decided to invite sangah to their aforementioned drink hangout? your mind drifts to the image of wonbin ordering a drink for sangah, the same way he always does for you, and you feel like bursting into tears similarly to the way you had almost done so on your way to class.

and sangah— god, you wanted to hate her so bad. your prayers that she had the personality of a wicked witch were thrown out the window the second she opened her mouth. she was so nice to you. the guy that she likes had openly expressed that he wanted to walk you to class and she still smiled at you. she’s got the most perfect appearance and most perfect attitude and you feel like you can’t compete with any of it.

you check your phone for the first time in approximately 30 minutes, eager for a distraction. you’re dismayed to see only 3 notifications, one from the boy who seems the root of every current problem in your life, and two from sungchan.

[10:04 AM] bin 🫶: everything ok??

[10:16 AM] sungchani: hey

[10:16 AM] sungchani: we’re all gonna hang out on friday night (as decided by me just now) and u will be coming! (also decided by me just now)

you open your phone, typing a quick response to wonbin about how everything is fine (lie) and sending another short message in hopes of steering the conversation in a different direction. you open the two messages from sungchan, shaking your head as if he’d be able to sense your attitude through the screen.

[10:48 AM] you: who’s “we” exactly…. and what will “we” be doing

[10:50 AM] sungchani: don’t act dumb girl… me, you, taro, seunghan, anton and wonbin obviously. was gonna see if eunseok and sohee could make it but i doubt eunseok would wanna and i think sohee’s doing some group assignment lolol

[10:51 AM] sungchani: as for your other question i was thinking about going to the movies yay or nay? (say yay)

[10:51 AM] you: pass

[10:52 AM] sungchani: perfect see u there!

you don’t bother responding to sungchan’s final message, knowing that no amount of opposition from you would deter him. he’d probably drag you all the way to the theater himself if he had to. but you really don’t want to go, feeling drained from the thoughts that have been plaguing your mind ever since sungchan mentioned sangah for the first time. you’d much rather spent your friday night in bed, trying to give your brain a much needed break. maybe if you really felt like torturing yourself, you’d pull up sangah’s instagram once more.

when class ends, you’re shocked to find anton waiting for you outside of the lecture hall. he’s holding a plastic cup filled with chai tea, leaning against the wall leisurely as he sips through an orange straw. he doesn’t look in your direction, which confuses you, because you’re undoubtedly the reason he’s currently standing outside of your classroom.

“lee anto-“ the boy in question cuts you off by lifting his index finger in front of your face, still not looking at you. you scoff in irritation, not wanting to deal with his antics in your current state.

“you’re coming on friday, yes?” he questions, his voice slightly above a whisper. “not if i don’t have to,” you say, your voice at a normal volume. anton, finally looking you in the eyes, presses his index finger to his lips as if to indicate that you need to be quieter. “you do have to,” he nods.

you pinch the bridge of your nose. “why the hell are you whispering?” you scowl, and he keeps his index finger on his lips. you groan before reluctantly lowering your voice to match his, despite the fact that you still don’t know why he wants you to do so. “what’s going on?” you inquire.

“you have to come on friday,” he repeats quietly, “and you’re gonna tell dark star that you’re in love with him.”

you blink. “who?” anton leans his head back in annoyance before mouthing, “PARK WONBIN.” you recoil for a myriad of reasons. “first of all, i’m not coming on friday,” your voice slightly increases in volume, “and even if i was, i most definitely would not use it as an opportunity to confess to wonbin. and why in the world did you just call him that?” you finish, exasperated.

anton only sips his drink, his aura calm and collected. “you’re going,” he answers pointedly, “because if you don’t, dark star is gonna find out either way.”

your eyes widen and you feel like all of the air has left your lungs. “what do you mean by that? you wouldn’t actually-“

“i would, though. if telling dark star about your crush on him would get you to stop pining after him like a fool, why wouldn’t i? and, in addition,” anton fully turns to you, his voice raising to a light mumble, “i saw the way you reacted when sarah started talking to him earlier.”

“it’s sangah,” you deadpan. anton waves his hand dismissively. “not the point. with the way you acted earlier, you would’ve thought they were getting married right in the middle of that hallway,” he sounds concerned as he speaks the words, not looking anywhere but at you.

“i’m not saying that wonbin— dark star, i mean, has a thing for sandra right now. frankly, i don’t think he cares about her at all,” anton continues, “but if you’re that worried about some random girl taking him away from you when they’ve known each other for like, a week, i think that’s a sign that it might be a good idea to tell him how you’re feeling.”

you look down, letting his words settle into your mind. “i’ll come on friday,” you nod, and the boy in front of you smiles at your words, “but i have to give the whole confessing to wonbin thing a bit more thought. i mean, it’s kind of sudden.” anton’s advice actually made sense, you think, but you’re not sure if you’re ready to tell the boy you’ve been harboring feelings for all this time that you’re in love with him on a random friday night.

“sudden?” anton asks, breaking you out of your thoughts. “i think it’s long overdue. fire tornado hector thinks so, too,” he tells you.

you turn to him, dumbfounded. “where the hell are you getting these names from?!”

friday night comes in the blink of an eye and you’re standing in the lobby of the theater with shotaro, anton, seunghan, and sungchan. wonbin is nowhere to be seen.

“i told him 7PM sharp,” sungchan murmurs impatiently, checking his watch. shotaro turns to anton, jokingly hitting the younger boy on the arm with a laugh. “imagine he just decided to stay home,” he chuckles, “i bet y/n would be relieved.”

“why would she be relieved?” seunghan intrudes curiously. anton shrugs. “i told her she had to confess to wonbin tonight,” he says casually, as if he hadn’t just revealed your not-so-secret secret to an unsuspecting seunghan. the older boy’s eyebrows raise at anton’s words, his lips parting.

“you like wonbin?” he questions you eagerly. “dude, i can’t believe you didn’t know by now,” anton answers in your place as you press your lips together. “and we won’t be using the name wonbin when he arrives. he’s dark star. the codename helps when you’re trying to be discreet,” he finishes.

“yeah, because you know all about being discreet, right?” you reply, voice laced with sarcasm. anton knows that you’re referring to the way he had exposed your feelings for wonbin merely 30 seconds ago, avoiding your gaze as he whistles idly.

“sorry i’m late, guys,” the man of the hour exhales as he walks up to the 5 of you. sungchan studies wonbin, unimpressed. the latter can sense his older friend’s agitation, clicking his tongue. “you’ll forgive me once you find out why i’m late,” he assures, “look who i brought with me.”

you can’t prevent the way your heartbeat escalates, both at the mere presence of wonbin and the words that have just left his mouth. you’re unsure if you even want to find out who he’s brought with him, fearing the worst.

“sohee! eunseok!” you hear sungchan exclaim, excitedly making his way over to the two figures that have just entered the theater. he wraps his lengthy arms around both of them simultaneously.

“guess our invitations got lost in the mail, huh?” eunseok muses, returning his friend’s embrace. the three of them return to where you and the others are standing and sungchan scratches the back of his neck. “my bad, man,” he utters bashfully, “the movie we’re watching is pretty lame. didn’t think you’d be into it.”

“still, it’s an excuse to see you guys,” eunseok shrugs, turning to greet everyone else. sohee does the same, wrapping his arms around you before anyone else.

“y/n! it’s been forever,” he grins, you return it. “it’s been… 2 weeks,” you tell him, hugging him back nonetheless. “i still missed you, though,” you hum. “stop hogging him, y/n!” seunghan teases, “we haven’t seen him in weeks either!”

the two of you release each other, and when you turn, wonbin is at your side. he taps your arm. “why don’t you greet me like that?” he feigns jealousy, pursing his lips. you smile at him, hoping to mask your nervousness, “i see you everyday.”

he rolls his eyes. “that doesn’t mean you can’t miss me.”

“i always do,” you say absentmindedly. by the time your words register, wonbin is already grinning. “ditto,” he mutters, his words meant for only you to hear.

he turns away before you can comment, and eunseok takes his place beside you. he wraps an arm around your shoulders, greeting you. you think nothing of his actions before he leans down, angling his head so that it’s directly next to your ear. “i heard about healing michael’s plan,” he whispers, “the one about getting you to confess to dark star.”

“please don’t start this,” you plead, “i cannot deal with these nicknames right now. and how do you know about that?”

“um,” he starts, moving his head away from yours, “obviously healing michael filled me in on everything. just because we don’t physically see each other everyday doesn’t mean we don’t have a group chat.” he moves back to the previous topic, “he threatened to tell dark star about how you’re madly in love with him, right? he’s bluffing,” eunseok explains, “if you confess to dark star tonight, it should be because you really love him. not because anton frightened you into doing it.”

you nod at eunseok’s words, unsure. “and,” he continues, “it shouldn’t be about some other girl that might like him, either.” he takes note of the way your eyes widen a fraction. “yeah, anton told me about that, too,” he nods as you make a mental reminder to yell at anton later for airing out your business.

“what i’m saying, y/n, is make sure that you’re telling him how you feel, not for anyone else, but for you. well, and for him. and for you and him, together,” eunseok concludes, “don’t let healing michael or sandy get in the way of it.”

“it’s sangah,” you sigh, in awe of the fact that you’ve had to correct both him and anton. sungchan appears to have heard your final words, perking up at the mention of wonbin’s classmate.

“sangah? we’re talking about sangah?” he blurts out, turning to wonbin with a smile. “bro, we totally should’ve invited her,” he jokes, slapping his friend on the arm, “seeing her and wonbin interact in the theater would’ve been hilarious.” everyone grows tense at sungchan’s teasing— he was somehow still the only one unaware of your feelings for wonbin.

wonbin only shakes his head in response, his first instinct being to look over at you. you’re wearing that same disheartened look on your face as the first time you found out about sangah, and he can hardly breathe. his eyes narrow at the sight of eunseok’s arm still hanging off your shoulders.

“sungchan, when does the movie start? we’ve been standing here for a while,” shotaro states, attempting to alleviate the situation. “oh, we still have about,” sungchan checks the time on his watch, “ten minutes before the trailers even start playing,” he responds.

shotaro ushers the group over to the concession counter, quickly making some excuse about everyone needing to choose their snacks for the movie. “amateurs,” sungchan mutters, “who doesn’t bring their own snacks to the movies?”

wonbin finds his place beside you again, briefly studying your features. he notices the way you stand stiffly in your spot and the slight wrinkle between your brows. “hey,” he tries to get your attention. your eyes soften as they meet his that are flooded with worry. “i’m sorry,” he frowns, “about what happened back there. i don’t know why he keeps mentioning her.”

you’re puzzled and, yet again, asking yourself if he’s apologizing because he knows that you have feelings for him or if it’s because he still thinks you’re upset that he didn’t tell you about sangah sooner.

you prayed that he wasn’t apologizing due to the former, but why would he even need to apologize if it was the latter? if nothing was going on between wonbin and sangah, he had no reason to tell you about her. you press your lips into a tight line. maybe that was it— something was going on between them. that’s why he’s saying sorry to you right now, because he regrets not telling you before when you’re supposed to be one of his closest friends.

and that’s all you’ll ever be to him, because you were too much of a coward to confess to him when you had the chance. you think about how disappointed your friends are going to be once you break the news to them that you wouldn’t be confessing to wonbin tonight, or ever.

“don’t apologize, wonbin,” you quietly tell him, and he wonders why it seems as though you’re about to cry. he shakes his head, getting the sense that you misunderstood his words. he looks back at your mutual friend group, seeing that they’re all preoccupied. wonbin seizes the opportunity, grabbing your hand and taking you to a secluded area of the theater.

“please don’t tell me not to apologize,” he breathes, “because i have so much to apologize to you for.”

you’re confused and concerned, your lips parting slightly. you don’t have the chance to savor the feeling of wonbin’s hand still holding yours because you’re mentally preparing yourself for whatever words he’s about to say. this is it, you tell yourself. you stare at the ground, anticipating the feeling of disappointment and rejection.

“i like you so much.”

you stop breathing as the words leave wonbin’s mouth. you’re terrified to look up, unsure if you’d even heard him correctly. he responds to your unvoiced worries by repeating the statement.

“i like you so much, and i’m sorry for holding it in this long,” he says breathlessly, “i’m sorry for letting sungchan talk about sangah all the time, because i didn’t want you to think that i could ever like anyone else.”

he continues despite your silence. “and i’m sorry for telling you all of this in a movie theater, of all places. i’ve been psyching myself up for weeks, but i couldn’t stand the thought of you not knowing any longer. i’m tired of misunderstandings.”

he finally takes a deep breath, and you look up at him for the first time. “are you serious?” is all you’re able to say. you want to be 100% sure that your mind isn’t being as cruel as it normally is when it comes to park wonbin.

he nods, appearing to be just as nervous as you are, and you think that’s good enough of an indicator that he’s not joking.

“you fool,” you breath out in utter disbelief, not knowing if your words are directed at wonbin or yourself. the boy looks troubled for a moment before he hears a noise similar to a sob leave your mouth.

you hide your face with your hands. “i was supposed to be the one to confess to you.”

it’s wonbin’s turn to be silent now, listening to you rant. “it was this whole thing— healing michael, dark star.. eunseok knew about it, and shotaro..” you trail off. your words don’t even make sense to yourself, and you doubt they make any sense to the boy in front of you. “my god, wonbin— i’ve liked you since the day i met you!” you cry, hands still obstructing your vision.

wonbin hesitantly takes it upon himself to grab your wrists, removing your hands from your face. “do you mean that?” he asks, trying to meet your gaze.

you don’t look him in the eye as you continue rambling. “i was so scared,” you tell him, “sungchan mentioned her out of nowhere that day and i was so scared. i thought she was your secret girlfriend, or something.” you feel stupid for telling him all of this, finally admitting to your jealousy.

“when i saw her for the first time, i thought it was over,” you shake your head, “someone so pretty having a crush on you? i felt like nothing next to her. sungchan even told me that she wrote down her instagram and casually handed it to you— i’d kill to be that confident in myself,” you’re not even paying attention to the words leaving your mouth anymore, wanting to get everything you’ve been holding in out of your system.

when you finally look at wonbin’s face, he looks sad, which startles you. you’re afraid that you’ve just killed his mood with your venting. “i’m sorry— i didn’t me-“ you’re interrupted by wonbin pulling you to his chest, shaking his head at your words. “you fool,” he repeats your words from minutes ago. “i can’t believe you’ve been feeling that way about yourself.”

he keeps you in his embrace as if you’d run away if he were to let go. “i can’t think of anyone prettier than you,” he mutters, “or nicer, or funnier. or anything, really, because i think of you more than anyone else. i guess it’s my fault, kind of. i could’ve expressed it in ways other than walking you to class and ordering dumb overpriced drinks for you.” you let out a quiet laugh at his last sentence and he smiles, pulling away slightly so he’s able to see your face.

“i guess we’re both kind of stupid,” you conclude, earning a nod from the dark haired boy. “only when it comes to you,” he says, “i happen to think i’m very intelligent on every other occasion.”

when you finally regroup with everyone, they’re all wearing looks of disappointment on their faces. upon asking what happened, eunseok shoves a thumb in sungchan’s direction, the brown haired boy adorning a sheepish expression. “this fucker got the time wrong. the movie was at 6:15, not 7:15,” eunseok grimaces, “i better get a refund for my ticket.”

“you didn’t even pay for it,” wonbin says, “i did. sohee’s, too.”

anton, having been the first one to notice both yours and wonbin’s disappearance from the group, narrows his eyes at the boy. “and where were you?” he raises a brow, attempting to look intimidating. wonbin dismisses him with the wave of a hand.

before you and wonbin decided to rejoin your friends, you had to tell him not to hold your hand, much to his dismay. only after discovering the reason why, did he reluctantly agree.

you stand as far away from wonbin as possible, putting on a melancholy act. shotaro is the first to take notice of this, putting a hand on your shoulder. “did you tell him?” he questions, your silence serving as an answer in itself. eunseok overhears, looking at you with pity in his eyes.

when anton finally sees the distance put between you and wonbin, he concludes that you weren’t able to tell him about your feelings. he sighs, shaking his head.

as if on cue, you look at wonbin with determination burning in your eyes, beginning to advance towards him. the group is silent as they watch the two of you curiously.

“dark star,” you begin straightforwardly, “i’m in love with you.” wonbin tries concealing his laughter as he swiftly takes in the reactions of his friends. eunseok smiles knowingly while anton and shotaro are wide-eyed. seunghan wears an amused expression, sohee’s eyebrows are raised, and on top of it all, sungchan looks incredibly confused.

wonbin, keeping up the act, covers his mouth in mock astonishment. “did you guys hear that?” he turns to his friends, who are now all aware that they’re being pranked. “my girlfriend is in love with me!” wonbin beams, “metal blaze, i accept your confession.”

eunseok clicks his tongue, nodding. “metal blaze, that’s a good one,” he notes under his breath.

“alright, we get it,” anton groans, “it took you guys long enough.” he turns to you, unable to stop a smile from forming. “i hope you know i was never actually going to tell him myself. i only said that in hopes of scaring you into telling him.”

you nod, “eunseok told me that already. and it wasn’t me that confessed to wonbin— he confessed to me.” everyone is shocked at your comment, seunghan walking behind wonbin and giving him a congratulatory slap on the shoulder. you purposefully skip over the fact that you all but cried to wonbin immediately after said confession about how much you liked him in return, and he pinches your side.

“you know, when you guys disappeared, i made a bet with shotaro that you guys were probably making out somewhere,” eunseok adds, “he said you guys were probably just in the middle of the whole confessing thing. i owe him seven bucks now.” shotaro pats him on the back with false sympathy.

as the topic of conversation shifts to something else, sungchan’s jaw is still practically on the floor. he looks at the way wonbin has his arm around your shoulders, head practically buried in your neck. he can’t stop himself from blurting out his next words.

“has y/n had a crush on wonbin this entire time?!”

AUTHOR’S NOTE! congrats to u if u survived reading all that ohhh lord i promise i’ll make y/n less unbearable next time but for now u guys are just gonna have to find it in ur hearts to forgive me… also it’s 5am rn and idk if i hate this fic umm we’ll see if i regret posting this when i wake up tmr

[bbina]

between the lines masterlist

ᯓ★ SYNOPSIS.ᐟ from what started as a simple arrangement to hide your feelings for a certain someone by getting into in a fake relationship soon turns into a tangled mess. in which some things are hard to tell when you can’t read between the lines

ᯓ★ PAIRING.ᐟ park wonbin x reader

ᯓ★ GENRE.ᐟ fluff, angst, crack | 𖡎 – written portions

ᯓ★ STATUS.ᐟ completed.

ᯓ★ TAGLIST.ᐟ closed (limit)

ᯓ★ NOTES.ᐟ first riize smau! bbina is cooking with this one i fear... this fic will contain nsfw themes somewhere along the way and some kys jokes, etc. happy reading! also if you want to be added to the taglist make sure your blog is visible for me to be able to tag you

˗ˏˋ ★ CHAPTERS ★ ˎˊ˗ ☆ INTRODUCTION ☆ ONE ⊹₊ ⋆ do what you must ☆ TWO ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 last minute rain checks ☆ THREE ⊹₊ ⋆ national museum of korea ☆ FOUR ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 campfire ☆ FIVE ⊹₊ ⋆ chemistry ☆ SIX ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 first day on the job ☆ SEVEN ⊹₊ ⋆ shock factor ☆ EIGHT ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 yet ☆ NINE ⊹₊ ⋆ soft launch ☆ TEN ⊹₊ ⋆ thanks for the support ☆ ELEVEN ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 pillow talk ☆ TWELVE ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 count your days ☆ THIRTEEN ⊹₊ ⋆ wasn't part of the plan ☆ FOURTEEN ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 why does it matter ☆ FIFTEEN ⊹₊ ⋆ just be with me ☆ SIXTEEN ⊹₊ ⋆ seoul bound ☆ SEVENTEEN ⊹₊ ⋆ more than welcome ☆ EIGHTEEN ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 trust me ☆ NINETEEN ⊹₊ ⋆ newly improved fake boyfriend 2.0 ☆ TWENTY ⊹₊ ⋆ only my girl ☆ TWENTY ONE ⊹₊ ⋆ next date ☆ TWENTY TWO ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 for my eyes only ☆ TWENTY THREE ⊹₊ ⋆ care package ☆ TWENTY FOUR ⊹₊ ⋆ too early ☆ TWENTY FIVE ⊹₊ ⋆ not like this ☆ TWENTY SIX ⊹₊ ⋆ two months later ☆ TWENTY SEVEN ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 long way home ☆ TWENTY EIGHT ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 thank you ☆ TWENTY NINE ⊹₊ ⋆ fake idgafer ☆ THIRTY ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 boundaries ☆ THIRTY ONE ⊹₊ ⋆ could've had it all ☆ THIRTY TWO ⊹₊ ⋆ out of habit ☆ THIRTY THREE ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 time ☆ THIRTY FOUR ⊹₊ ⋆ deja vu ☆ THIRTY FIVE ⊹₊ ⋆ operation: ynbin ☆ THIRTY SIX ⊹₊ ⋆ it's bad for the both of them ☆ THIRTY SEVEN ⊹₊ ⋆ stories write themselves ☆ THIRY EIGHT ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 ulsan ☆ THIRTY NINE ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 drunken words ☆ FOURTY ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 sober thoughts ☆ FOURTY ONE ⊹₊ ⋆ disappointed ☆ FOURTY TWO ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 afternoon bliss (M) ☆ FOURTY THREE ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 we are so back ☆ FOURTY FOUR ⊹₊ ⋆ what are we ☆ FOURTY FIVE ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 wouldn't have it in any other way ☆ FOURTY SIX ⊹₊ ⋆ new boyfriend lore ☆ FOURTY SEVEN ⊹₊ ⋆ texting and driving ☆ FOURTY EIGHT ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 dior her ☆ FOURTY NINE ⊹₊ ⋆ 𖡎 you’re all i’ll ever want and need ☆ FIFTY ⊹₊ ⋆ between the lines

⋆.˚—̳͟͞͞★ asks | lore | official playlist ₊⊹

[enluv]

certified lover boy

pairing: non!idol/lovesick wonbin x fem!reader

synopsis: in which wonbin is a lover boy through and through who’ll do anything to win you over…except tell you himself of course.

genre(s): fluff pure fluff, smau oneshot, student riize

cast: most of riize, sungho bnd, and yuna itzy

warnings: cursing, dark humor, should be all but lmk!

coco’s <3 note: hi toots! hope you all like this post one hehe, I feel like it’s too similar to my soft launchings but I wasn’t sure how else to change it tbh…so I hope it isn’t TOO similar if that makes sense! hopefully the nonnie that requested this likes it :) as always, feedback and reblogs are always appreciated!

riize taglist — @palajae @txtlyn @rllymark @soheekisser @luvbinnies @chaerybae @lecheugo @idkwatodoanymore @givemeakith @haechansbbg @mxlly143 @tinyelfperson @vampcharxter @odxrilove @noajakah236482 @nikilvrfvr @ja4hyvn

Want to be tagged? Check out the forms here!

[enhaas]

HEAL MY HEART … WONBIN SMAU

synopsis !! after a tragic breakup, yn struggled to love herself again and believed true love just wasn’t a thing. park wonbin, a popular classmate, has been secretly admiring her for so long. after finding out what yn is going through, he is desperate to see her happy again…hopefully with him.

genre !! smau + written, popular! wonbin x fem! reader, high school au, fluff & angst, romance, slow burn

warnings !! covers serious topics, vulgar language, kys/kms jokes

features !! yn as yuna from itzy ~ rest of riize, twice members lsfrm members, bnd members, zb1 members, txt members, itzy members, & much more

taglist (open!) — ask to be added ~

STATUS CURRENTLY ON HOLD

profiles … one | two

chapters ~

001. i’m gonna fuck that bitch up

002. stage one: texting

003. idek where to begin tbh

004. did she just leave me on read…

005. lovesick wonbin

006. YES 🙇🏻

007. you love the old him, yn

008. wonbin, thank you

009. unknown

010. what the fuck yn

011. choose wonbin

012. fast pace [ smau / written ]

013. let me show you [ written ]

014. cupid gyuvin??

015. fumbling the bag

016. gyuvin’s new era

017. lover boy wonbin

018. cupid in action

019. it’s ok you’re pretty

020.

+ tba !!

[nnight-dances]

ONE KISS, ONE LOVE

PAIRING: park wonbin x fem!reader

GENRE: fluff, hurt/comfort, suggestive dialogue but nothing explicit

TROPES: established relationship!au, idol!wonbin, age gap vibes but no real mention, reader babies wonbin like he deserves to be, texts at the end, just sickening sweet stuff

WATCH: wonbin's night routine

NOTE: inspired by the video above! once again, these wonbin fics write themselves ... he might be my favorite boy to write rn or maybe that's just my way of coping!! anyway don't be surprised if i just start spamming u with the wonbin fics i just have too many good ideas. but they're all gonna be set in this same established relationship style, he's just so bf coded lol... anyway, enjoy <3

you've been in bed for a good twenty, clad in cream pyjamas and skincare intact, when you hear the frontdoor open – signalling your boyfriend, wonbin's arrival. you pause the video you're watching on your phone and sit up to greet him, "bin? welcome home." his heavy footsteps stop where his figure finally comes into your view.

wonbin looks wiped out, no doubt, eyes shadowed by his somnolent lashes. he stares at you for a moment before humming, the sound halfway between a thank god you're here and i could die right now. he peels his layers off with speed, black leather jacket hung up on the tree-shaped rack near your closet and his other outerwear finding its place on the small cabinet next to it.

you watch fondly as even in his fatigue, he patiently makes sure no outside clothes pollute the bed. as soon as he's in nothing but his white tee and boxers though, he jumps onto you, deflating the air out of you like a body pillow.

"hello," he mumbles, face disappearing into your chest where he snuggles closer. 

"hi, love," you welcome him warmly, fingers carding through his hair as a force of habit. you breathe against his limp body, letting him unwind on top of you as he often does. it's a silent activity, a night routine of sorts for wonbin on his longest days. he'd trudge home and settle close to you, wordlessly like a cat looking for soothing. 

sometimes, you talked to him about your day and he'd hum along, eyes on yours telling all you needed to hear. other times, you would go back to doing whatever you were doing – watching a show, playing a game, or talking to a friend – while he recharged. he even insisted it worked best when you were just doing your own thing.

today, you do neither. setting your phone aside, you occupy yourself with wonbin himself, first meandering through his charcoal hair and then trailing down to his neck, tracing hearts and stars into his skin. you can feel him relaxing under your touch, his face finally coming back into your vision. 

"tired," wonbin says, voice coarser than ever. "need to sleep." 

"i know, baby," you croon, "wanna wash up first?"

he shakes his head adamantly, "no. sleepy."

you laugh softly, "angel, i'm sure you are but you can't sleep with your makeup on, can you?"

"had a few drinks with taro hyung," he murmurs as if that explains his behavior.

"really? you had time after practice?"

"he snuck it into practice. beer after all that sweating was nice."

"wow, look at you," you muse, hand brushing his bangs out of his eyes, "you sound like an old man."

"i am," wonbin pouts, "let the old man go to sleep."

"sorry, love, i can't do that," you say.

"rude."

"say what you will," you sit up fully, pulling your sluggish boyfriend with you. ignoring his groans, you kiss his nose, "wash up, okay? can't have my rockstar breaking out because he was too lazy to wash his face before bed."

he groans again but this time it's an endearment, his kiss on your cheek disguising his smile. "but i can't move, y/n. please."

"i'll help you," you snake out of the sheets, squatting as you heave wonbin out as well. he stands up unwillingly, head wilting like a sad flower. you laugh, pulling him toward the washroom, "will you listen if i do all the work?"

that gets the job done alright because two minutes later, wonbin's settled against the sink with you between his legs. you crane around his tall limbs to reach for his products, having memorized his night skincare by now. 

cleansing balm in hand, you carefully cover every inch of his face, the makeup turning into oil gradually. "okay, babe, now rinse your face for me."

"you said you'd do all the work!" he complains without missing a beat. 

you glare at him, "i can't possibly wash your face without making a mess of both of us."

"sounds like an excuse to me."

sulking, he turns around, washing the balm off. next, you go in with his foam cleanser, gently circling his cheeks and forehead. despite all his earlier declarations, he watches you attentively, his hand loosely clasped around your waist to keep you in place. you have to scold him midway at one point when he gets cheeky and sneaks a hand down your pyjamas, feeling the hem of your panties. 

eventually, you dry his face off with a hand towel. "there," you peck his cheek, "all clean."

when he doesn't let go of your waist, you raise a brow at him. "you only love me when i'm clean," he scowls, "don't you?"

you narrow your eyes at his tantrum, "i think you're forgetting how i'm sacrificing my screen time before bed to clean you up right now."

he looks unconvinced as he tails you out of the bathroom. he's about to throw himself back onto the bed when you stop him by his hand. "change first," you explain, pulling out fresh pyjamas and throwing them at him. 

wonbin stands idly and it's only when he starts raising his arms up that you realize he wants you to do it. you sigh, "bin, you're such a baby today." but you smile as you pull his shirt off, disregarding the way he instantly flexes when he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror. slipping his pyjamas on, a piece at a time, you clap when he's done.

"i would make a great mother," you pat yourself on the back.

"you can adopt me if you want," he shrugs and you snicker, "i don't think i need to." 

"you want anything to eat before you sleep?" you ask as if you hadn't quite literally brushed his teeth. "chocolate," he says without any conviction and you roll your eyes at him, watching as he launches himself at the bed.

"quick, come here," wonbin whines. you pad over to your side of the bed and join him, giggling when his body curls around you instantly. his nose finds its indent against your neck this time, cold and fresh. 

for a minute, you think that's all you'll hear out of your boyfriend for the night. but it's just as you're about to reach for your phone when he speaks up again, "sorry if i'm boring."

you're not sure if your ears hear right, "what?"

but his voice is solemn, "...i'm probably kinda boring lately. so i'm sorry."

you turn on your side to face him completely, hand coming to rest against his cheek. "bin, you idiot. you coming home is the best part of my day."

"really? even though i'm too dead to do anything?" he perks up but his eyes gloomy, "we don't even fuck anymore. or go to the movies. or go out at all."

you laugh, "you're making us sound like an old couple on the verge of divorce, baby. you're just busier because of your comeback! i'm so excited and you should be, too."

"i am. but i don't want bore you."

"you don't, though. i'm lucky enough i get to see you at night and take care of you when i can. plus, it's not like you won't have more time after your promotions, right? we can do everything you want then."

wonbin blinks at you, his cool hand finally coming to meet yours where it was still caressing his cheek. he kisses your palm, "thank you. i'm glad."

"of course, love. now, go to sleep or you'll regret it tomorrow," you chirp, rolling over and shutting the lights off quickly.

"...you really would be a great mom," wonbin laughs at your behavior. 

"good night, wonbin."

"good night, mom."

you hit his arm at his brazenness but when he just laughs again, the sound is too sweet for you to even pretend to be mad. so instead, you hug him closer, hand on his bicep and his legs tangled with yours. 

–

bin: I AM FREE AT LAST

bin: FROM THE SHACKLES OF IT

you: …

you: how would ur fans react if i leaked our texts

you: so much for being mysterious

you: "shackles of it" boy have you ever touched a book

bin: okay so you're rude today

bin: i miss y/n mom version

you: ew?? if u have a kink i dont think this is gonna work

bin: because…? 

you: is sungchan still single

bin: i was kidding! haha!

you: ok.

bin: seriously tho let's do smth fun 2nite

you: i get off work late today :(

bin: whatttt you have a life outside of me :0

you: do you WANT me to break up with you???

bin: what i meant was i will be there to pick you up <3

you: wtv man idgaf anymore

bin: noooo

bin: i'll do anything you want don't be mad

you: anything?

bin: well other than leaking our texts ofc

you: i want to live together

bin: ???

bin: we alr do

you: wonbin 

you: baby

you: you just always come over to my place

bin: i sleep there it's my home wdym

you: and you still pay the bills for your place?

bin: i don't make that bag for nothing

you: ok so what if we lived together instead

bin: but i really like your place!!

you: i do too

you: let's make it our place 

bin: shit

bin: i just actually blushed irl

you: :) 

you: is that a yes

bin: i want to marry you

you: okay well let's calm down

bin: did u just reject me

you: i'm telling u that you're gonna regret proposing through text

bin: i love u and i want u to be my wife

bin: omg i just shed a tear at the thought of calling u that

bin: wife…. im changing ur contact name

bin: or should i change it to fiancée? since we havent yet tied the knot

you: park wonbin

you: we are 20 years old

bin: untrue

bin: im 22 

you: i am not marrying you right now

bin: … is there someone else

you: i'm not marrying anyone right now

bin: ok so i'm not husband material

you: you are

bin: i'm not father material? you: no comment

you: but we aren't ready babe

you: let's take it slow k?

you: just move in first

you: we have so many memories to make

bin: you're such a flirt

you: ??? u just asked me to marry you but sure

bin: i'll be moved in by the time you come back home

you: i thought you were picking me up

bin: that was before u asked me to move in

bin: now i have to bring all my stuff over

bin: which side of your closet can i use? bin: also thoughts on letting me keep my rock collection next to your figurines?

you: right side and no

bin: wow u didnt even think about it

you: imagine we get into a fight

bin: i refuse to

you: i'm just saying i would be tempted to throw them rocks at u

bin: you would do that????

you: depending on what u do

bin: why are you expecting me to do anything at all????

you: …experience

bin: wow

you: to be loved is to be known

bin: you can't flatter me now

you: i love you 

bin: …

bin: i love you too

[ywnzn]

hydrangea love | park wonbin smau (on hold)

☆ ex!park wonbin x fem!reader x jung sungchan

☆ synopsis. yn, model & owner of a well-known perfume brand, releases a new series inspired by a heartbreak she went through. completely unaware that the new rising model who was chosen to promote the series is the same person who caused the heartbreak itself, park wonbin.

☆ genre.  smau + mayb written chapters, exes to lovers!au, love triangle trope, fluff, angst ?, romance, slow burn kinda, bad humor, stupid mcs !

☆ notes. random pictures will be used to visualise concepts, outfits & photo style for mc. do not hesitate to leave an ask if you have any suggestions! this is a remake of a soobin smau i discontinued last year ^

☆ features. rest of riize, illit’s minju, kiof’s julie, txt's taehyun, bonedo's taesan, zb1's gyuvin, ive's rei & more

☆ taglist. closed send an ask/comment to be added. @eternalgyu @drinktaro @toniiswrld @lipsbyive @hwadejectedyoung @seunghancore @teddywook @jinanangel @wonbinsvlle @totheseok @starwonb1n @miyawakiblossoms @snoopyana @nishimuraii @nujeskz @miyawwn @saranghoeforanton @ahnneyong @lecheugo @snowyseungs @antonsgirlfriend @ilovejungwonandhaechan @haecnh @chxrlvspp @revehosh @junstulip @emohoon @kyusqult @pinxeajin @rksbae @wonychu @secretnocluesworld @daegale @moamidzyism @nyu-topia @kkumistars @syzavxy @blossominghunnie @tocupid @lostinneocity @rllymark @valyjws @meowbini @mindalz @hildafuracao @eternallyhyucks @secretiny @conwunder @binoyu @esther-kpopstan @injunnie-lemon @jaehyunzm @endtostartbreathin @fae-renjun @bunni @bebubilu @syzavxy @enhacolor @soobiverse @sngj08 @xcosmi

☆ profiles. powerpuff girls | RIIZE | lavies

☆ chapters.

01. [REDACTED]

02. girl idk

03. whatever u say

04. asking for a friend

05. is he not?

06. everyone knows

07. just a chemist written + smau

08. it's called x

09. damage control

10. joe king written + smau

11. ttoribini live

12. boyf material

13. double dates

14. petty? pretty.

15. picking fights

16. falls over & dies

17. overreacting

18. start over written + smau

19. dating game

20. me and who

21. lego blisters

22. no ew

23. sabotage

24.

ywnzn © 2024 ▸ this smau is merely based on fictional events and is not meant to represent any of the idols mentioned accurately in any way, either it's personality or shipping characters wise.

[wonkibrainrot]

‼️BOYCOTT SM‼️

[floresierss]

RIIZE BF! TEXTS ★

masterlist . nav . ask .

first post after my old account got deleted in december i hope someone recognises me :<. anyways feel free to send in any riize requests!

[cjayius]

pairing. bf!wonbin x f!reader wc. 0.32k tw. kissing, wonbin’s a simp genre. fluff ( CATALOGUE )

you stand at your vanity, carefully applying lipstick for wonbin’s concert later tonight. the soft glow of the mirror’s lights casts a warm hue over the room, highlighting the slight shimmer of your eyeshadow. your focus is interrupted by the faint struming of a guitar from the next room, a familiar thne that brings a smile to your face.

wonbin’s reflection suddenly appears behind you in the mirror, startling you. his tall frame moves closer until you feel his arms wrap around your waist, his chin resting gently on your shoulder. you meet his eyes in the mirror, and he smiles, gaze filled with warmth and mischief.

“ you look so pretty, “ he murmurs, his voice a soft whisper in your ear. his arms around your waist tighten.

a blush creeps up your cheeks as you lean back into his embrace. “ thanks, bin. you should finish getting ready, too. you don’t want to be late to your own concert.

he chuckles, nuzzling your neck before pressing a gentle kiss to your shoulder. “ i have a few minutes. besides, watching you is much more interesting. “

you laugh softly, enjoying the warmth of his presence. “ sweet talker. “

wonbin’s fingers trace small circles on your waist, his touch sending a pleasant shiver down your spine. “ it’s true. you’re stealing all my focus. how am i supposed to play when i can’t stop thinking about you ? “

you turn around in his arms, facing him fully. “ then i guess ill have to sit in the front row to keep an eye on you, “ you tease, placing a hand on his firm chest. “ deal, “ he says, leaning in to steal a quick kiss.

“ hm, now go finish getting ready. i’ll be cheering for you from the audience. “

he nods, stealing one last kiss before reluctantly pulling away. “ i’ll see you out there, “ he says with s grin, heading back to his guitar.

as you turn back to the mirror to finish your makeup, you can’t help but smile, feeling a surge of love for the boy who holds your heart.

[snoopyana]

boys cry too.

“boys cry too, you called me & told me you never felt so low.”

he loves you so much. you’re always in the forefront of his mind, hoping you’re ok when he can’t be there to see for himself. but he was the least of your worries. what a shame.

park wonbin. toxic reader. angst. smut.

staring at his phone, disappointment was painted all over his face. knuckles growing white as he gripped the device. you had told him you’d be outside in ten minutes — so he drove over ten minutes earlier. but by now, forty had passed and there was a growing pain in his chest. heart heavy, wonbin looked at his ‘i’m here!’ message that sat on delivered. praying for it to switch to read in the blink of an eye. but it never did, at least not yet.

the streetlight that he decided to park under, purely for your convenience, started to flicker. body leaning into the leather seat of his car, the rumble of his engine filled the vechile. wonbin contemplated on leaving. even though he was originally over the moon to finally hangout with you, that excitement was slowly fading. being replaced with a sense of insecurity.

did you forget?

but he had all night to wait for you. so even if you remembered hours later, he would be quick to agree to another outing. you play with his heart, and he just waits until you’re done. there was times when he tried to tell himself that he was done being your last priority. lost in his thoughts, contemplating the what ifs. throwing his head back against the seat, his waterline started to sting. an obvious sign of the tears fighting to roll down his face. using the palms of his hands, wonbin aggressively rubbed his eyelids in an attempt to push back the tears.

but he failed.

he always failed. he always ended up crying by himself when you left him on delivered. when you forgot about the plans that you made. when you ignored him because you didn’t want to talk. it crushed his soul every single time. the tears leaving his face hot and his body shaken every time. but he knew you didn’t mean it, he knew that you were just busy. right? you were just busy because you would always contact him and apologize. promising that you wouldn’t forget next time.

a tapping on his passenger side window snapped him out of his thoughts, causing a halt to the mini pity party he was having. swiping away tears, wonbin unlocked his doors — allowing you to situate yourself into his car. there was a silence with his occasional sniffle. your eyes glued on the phone that illuminated your face. a few minutes would pass before you finally looked at him. but only for a second and no longer than a second.

“hey binnie.” the way you spoke in such a sweet tone nearly gave him whiplash. not seeing how you could so casually greet him as if you weren’t a whole hour behind schedule. greeting him without knowing that you were the reason he was so distraught a few moments ago. “sorry i took so long, i-“ but you were stopped.

“you forgot.”

his words caught you off guard. a scuff almost leaving your mouth when he cut you off, but thank god it got stuck in your throat. glancing over to the man, your eyes scanned his face. the way his cheeks were flushed, eyes puffy and bottom lip quivering, but he still managed to smile so softly at you. it almost made your heart ache. just almost. your eyes were trained on his trembling pupils — the way he looked so sad yet so happy to see you.

“you forgot, but it’s ok. i have all day for you to make time for me.” his voice cracking with every syllable that slipped past his lips. you did forget, but your pride wouldn’t let you say that. you couldn’t say that. so instead, you tripped to flip it. “what? of course i didn’t forget, of course i have time for you.” your snappy tone making his smile falter for just a split second. facing forward, his hands gripped onto the steering wheel. so what now? the air was thick, and he was hurt.

putting the vehicle into drive, wonbin tried to get ahold of his emotions as he drove. all while you shifted your attention back to the screen in your hands. connecting your phone to the cars bluetooth. boys cry too filled the empty space. as he drove around, the music was slowly drowned out by the ringing in his ears. becoming lost in his own mind while his body was on autopilot. pulling into a secluded park near the park.a place you two used to frequent, back when you cared.the music had long since been turned off as he turned off the car. leaning back into his seat, wonbins’ eyes found their way to your face.

they always did.

“did you really want to hang out with me today?” he still had that saddened expression on his face as he looked at you. picking at the skin around his fingers, waiting for an answer. waiting for anything. shifting in the seat, you managed to turn completely towards wonbin — shoving your phone into the pocket of your hoodie. “yeah, sure i lost track of time, but that doesn’t mean i didn’t wanna see you.” reaching over, you used the pads of your fingers to swipe away lingering tears on his face. he looked adorable, all worked up.

but he couldn’t seem to believe you, yet allowing your fingers to wipe and caress his face. “i hate your excuses, they hurt so much more than when you ignore me.” he tried so hard to keep a steady tone, cheeks heating up as he kept eye contact.

“do you want me to show you how much i love being around you?” before he could even answer, you were sliding yourself into his lap. reaching down to adjust his seat — making enough room for you both to sit comfortably in the small space. cupping his cheeks in both hands, your thumbs working circles on the skin that you couldn’t quite cover with your palms. leaning forward to plant small kisses on his forehead. humming into his skin when his hands found sanctuary on your thighs.

but don’t get it twisted, you were only doing this so he wouldn’t leave. so he felt loved, and wanted.

your kisses eventually found his lips, nipping at his bottom for entry — entry that he gladly gave to you. while your tongue roamed his mouth, one of your hands started its own adventure to his pants. single handedly unbuttoning the fabric. speaking against his lips, you instructed him to slip down his jeans. he was quick to follow, a whine leaving his throat when the cold air of his car hit the exposed flesh. you didn’t plan on fucking him in his car, just a quick handjob to keep him satisfied.

it’s truly a shame how pretty he was, letting all that beauty go to waste by being such a cling. that’s truly the only reason you never perused him. but you were so lucky that he loved you and adored you as much as he did — letting you do anything you wanted in exchange for the smallest sliver of your attention.

your lips attached themselves to his neck, one hand gripping onto his nape while the other slowly pumped his dick. gripping onto the sides of your hoodie, wonbin let his head fall back into the seat. but this time he wasn’t crying. strings of his moans and whines floating in the air while your hand set a painfully slow pace. gripping at his base before slowly sliding back up to his twitching tip. your thumb spreading around the precum that leaked from his slit.

he would make attempts to buck up into your enclosed fist. only to be forced back down by the weight of your body on his own. his head spinning at the damn-near torturous speed of your hand and your teeth bruising the pale skin of his neck. it was all too much as once, too much in general. broken pleas and cries for you to speed up.

so you finally did, he wanted it right?

the switch of pace had his body squirming underneath you, causing the vehicle to slightly rock side to side. thighs tightening, wonbin held onto you for dear life. if he wasn’t lightheaded before, he definitely was now. parted lips allowing for any and every sound to come from him. you could tell he was close, you knew him all too well. whispering praises just below his ear to push him to the edge. and it worked. it didn’t take much for more until he was releasing all over your hand and onto himself. repeating your name as if he would forget it later. resting your head onto his shoulder, you allowed for him to catch his breath.

but you didn’t stay long, wiping your hand onto his now cum-stained shirt. you opened the car door and stepped out, as your apartment was only a few blocks away from where you two were seated. leaving him without even a goodbye.

“it’s always me left to clean up all the mess.”

note- ok first, 3 fics in week? let me calm down before i get burnt out 😭😭 but i really wanted to write a subish wonbin and i was in the mean mood?? so my apologies for those who wanted a good end. heh. also i linked the song that this is loosely based off of, you just gotta find it! (it’s so easy to find but still)

[sh0tanzz]

I wish you would do a full post dedicated to toxicity or angsty shortcomings in relationships with the boys 🫠 I loved reading the toxic head canons ❤️

angst hurts my heart but !!

RIIZE RED FLAGS based on astrology~

hyung line edition ❗️

reminder this is based off of MY opinions of their birth chart placements + aspects and is not exact fact unless I knew them myself and I am not a professional astrologer

Shotaro

Vague - not exactly a red flag but he cares a lot about the things going on within his personal life but sometimes he might prefer to keep things to himself due to paranoia of how his s/o will react or if they’d use it against him..he might have a fear of betrayal that can make him be pretty vague and unable to tell his s/o a lot of things in regards to him which can feel secretive to someone who wants a relationship with open info

Intense - His Scorpio moon paired with his Cap venus leads to a need for loyalty as well as his moon/mercury aspect making him very observant of your words and even remembering things you said a longgg time ago which can be overwhelming and feel even persecuting to some. He might also be paranoid in the relationship of cheating or disloyalty.

Coldness- When he's upset he might have a tendency to be cold yet indirect. He has a scorpio mercury and when upset or protecting themselves they can say things that really hurt or could be pretty cutting. He also has a libra mars so he'd be pretty passive aggressive or indirect with his upset.

Eunseok

Nonchalant- (reminder that nonchalant means that a person cares but acts in a way that suggests indifference/disinterest) He can sometimes be too nonchalant and can make someone overall feel as though he has no passion in the relationship when really he does but just doesn't think you have to be lovey dovey 24/7 or he cant express his passion super well as times

Outburst- Eunseok has a cap moon and moon/saturn aspects paired with a mutable mars so he doesn't express his emotions well or bottles them up which can lead to him getting triggered at random and having a spontaneous outburst out of NOWHEREEE due to suppressed feelings which can be super problematic to some

Insensitive- it’s not on purpose or with malicious intent but Eunseok can sometimes not realize that though a situation isn’t a big deal to him to someone else it might be, he also can forget the more subjective side of things which can accidentally hurt peoples feelings

Sungchan

Sensitive - His pride is high and his reaction to things may be 3x more dramatic than the actual event that happened. When he's been hurt emotionally (whether it was intentional or not) he has a hard time letting go of what happened and might even give a silent treatment until he feels you've shown remorse.

Insecure - He cares a lot about what other people think of him and that can bleed into his relationships. He might act one way in public but another way in private which can make his words/actions seem insincere or disingenuous.

Internal struggles- Has a hard time balancing his feminine side and masculine side and what I mean is he is someone super emotional and feels his emotions very deeply but might try to cover that side of him up with a masculine facade which can bring tension.

Wonbin

Avoidance - He might refuse to acknowledge the red flags or obvious shortcomings/problems in the relationship or himself and may take a long time fully accepting or facing these problems as they are or has a weak approach in attempting to fix or acknowledge the problems. Idealizes a lot of aspects and tends to withdrawal when things don’t match his vision.

Procrastination- Once again, has a hard time facing things head on and takes a while to put action into something and avoids the messier more negative emotions that one must face in relationships; he could also take a long time to let the relationship reach the next more serious levels.

Stubborn- It's hard to change his mind about certain things..in arguments he'll try to pull a "lets agree to disagree" but it's a topic where you both need to be on the same page. He might even just straight up go mute in arguments if he doesn't feel like his opinion was valued enough.

[ahxus]

Hii can you do angst fwb!wonbin texts like sungchan's and eunseok's? Plspls🙏🏻

── fwb! wonbin texts

pairing park wonbin x reader

genre smau | angst

note thank you for the request anon 🤍 enjoy reading !!

© ahxus 2024

[eunseoksimp]

Entangled; Jung Sungchan

made this on a whim after an excessive amount of listens to house of balloons by the weekend.

Pairings: Boxer!Jung Sungchan x Girlfriend!Reader

Genre: angst

Description: the relationship between you and sungchan is a tumultuous storm, a volatile mix of passion and pain, bound by an intense love that is as toxic as it is profound. sungchan, an underground fighter, using the ring as an outlet for his inner demons and you, clinging to him as you seek solace from your own unhealed wounds. two broken pieces clinging to each other in a toxic dance of dependency and desperation.

Warning: use of swear words, brief mention of substance abuse and alcoholism.

. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:･ﾟ. ݁ ˖ ࣪ .

sungchan shows up at your house, eyes bloodshot, knuckles bruised, and that signature smile of his, the one that always made your heart flutter despite the chaos it signified. but now it only brings a sigh to your lips. you sigh, not even wanting to know what kind of trouble he got into this time, simply opening the door wider, allowing him to lean into your side as you guide him into your dimly lit apartment. the weight of his body against yours feels both familiar and burdensome, like an old, tattered blanket that you can’t seem to discard.

you sway all the way into your bedroom, his weight heavy against you until you stumble into your bedroom. he looks at you for a second, as if trying to see if you would allow him to jump onto your bed the way he is. his gaze is a silent question, but he knows how much you hate outside clothes touching your covers. with a shake of your head and the best shot of a disapproving look, he clicks his tongue but nevertheless shrugs his jacket off of his shoulders, obeying your rules. his jacket lands on the floor with a soft thud, a harbinger of the troubles he brought with him.

you watch as he clicks the clasp off his watch, slipping it off his wrist in one swift move and placing it on your dressing table. there's a practiced grace in his movements, a dance you've witnessed countless times. he reaches one hand from behind him to grab the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head, ruffling his hair before it’s discarded on the floor. you’ve seen him many times in this state, his top always coming off first because he knew you liked to peek at his muscles. his body, a canvas of old scars and fresh bruises that littered the expanse of his back, speaks of a history written in pain and conflict.

‘want me to give you a little strip show?’  he teases, fingers brushing against the buckle of his belt, his eyebrow quirking up before he relaxes it. his voice, tinged with a playful mockery, is an echo of better days when his teasing would have made you laugh. now, it only deepens the chasm of despair between you.

‘hurry up and get into bed. It’s cold,’ you reply, your voice betraying a weariness that matches the dim light of the room. the cold isn’t just physical; it’s an ever-present chill in the air, a manifestation of the emotional void that has grown between you.

he obeys, giving you a two-fingered salute and a boyish grin before unbuckling his belt and slipping out of his jeans, leaving them in a crumpled heap on the floor. his body, though battered, still carries an allure that tugs at your heartstrings. you turn away, not wanting to let your gaze linger too long on the marks of his latest escapade, the reminders of a life he refuses to abandon.

sliding under the covers, he pulls you close, his arms wrapping around you with a desperate intensity. you nestle into his chest, inhaling the scent of sweat and faint cologne, a mixture that has become a bittersweet comfort. his heartbeat, steady but troubled, is a metronome to the silent symphony of your shared sorrow.

you both lie there, staring at the ceiling, the dim light casting shadows that dance around the room like ghosts of your past. His arm drapes over your waist, pulling you closer. you can feel the tension in his body, the unspoken pain he's trying to hide.

‘rough night?’ you ask softly, your fingers tracing the contours of his bruised knuckles.

‘you could say that,’ he murmurs, his voice thick with exhaustion. ‘but it’s better now. i’m here with you.’

you close your eyes, wanting to believe his words, to find solace in the illusion that everything is normal. but the truth is inescapable: you are both prisoners of a toxic love, bound together by pain and passion. his presence, once a source of joy, has become a reminder of the endless cycle of hurt and reconciliation.

it was impossible, for two broken people to try and mend each other’s hearts, and yet here you both were. sungchan engaged with underground boxing to keep his demons at bay, to control the anger that burned deep inside him to the ring alone. and you continued to be with a man whose habits of danger and thrill-seeking often left you in sorrow, the possessiveness he felt over you seeming like love due to the poor examples of it you had as a model.

‘ i wish you’d stop doing this to yourself,’ you whisper, your voice breaking. ‘to us.’

he sighs, a sound heavy with resignation. he doesn’t respond immediately. instead, he tightens his grip on you, as if holding on to you can keep him from falling apart.

 ‘i can’t change who i am. and you... you can’t seem to let go of me, even though you know it’s killing you.’

the words hang in the air, a bitter truth that neither of you can deny. you cling to each other, seeking warmth in the cold emptiness of your relationship.  you stay because you can’t let go, because the pain has become a part of you, a twisted proof of your connection.

 his hands, rough and calloused, move gently over your back, a gesture that once brought comfort but now feels like a plea for forgiveness. you shift slightly, turning to face him. His eyes meet yours, and for a moment, the mask he wears slips away. you see the vulnerability, the hurt, and the longing. it’s a mirror of your own soul, reflecting back all the things you’ve tried to hide.

‘maybe we’re just broken,’ you say, your voice barely audible. ‘maybe this is all we deserve.’

sungchan tightens his grip on you, as if trying to hold together the fragile pieces of your shattered love. 

‘maybe. but i’d rather be broken with you than whole without you,’ he closes his eyes, a pained expression crossing his face as his voice slightly cracks.

tears sting your eyes, a silent acknowledgment of the pain you both carry. his words, though meant to be comforting, only deepen the wound. you lie there in the darkness, listening to the rhythmic sound of his breathing, each inhale and exhale a reminder of the life you’ve built on a foundation of hurt.

he pulls you closer and there’s a desperate hunger in his kiss, a need to reassure both of you that this is real, that this is worth the pain. his lips are rough against yours, his hands clutching at you like a drowning man grasping for a lifeline. you respond with equal fervor, pouring all your confusion and heartache into the kiss, hoping to find some semblance of solace.

but the solace never comes. instead, you’re left with a hollow ache, a reminder of how broken you both are. you pull away, breathless, and bury your face in his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. it’s a rhythm you’ve come to rely on, a reminder that despite everything, you’re still here, still together.

in the quiet of the night, the apartment feels like a mausoleum, a resting place for the ghosts of your past. the dim light casts shadows on the walls, flickering images of the dreams you once shared, now distorted by the harsh reality of your love. the bed, once a sanctuary, has become a battleground where you both fight to hold on to something that is slipping away.

‘i love you,’ he whispers, pulling you out of your thoughts, his voice filled with a desperate sincerity. it’s a declaration that should bring joy, but instead, it feels like a dagger to your heart.

‘i love you too,’ you reply, the words tasting of ash. love, for you both, has become synonymous with pain, a beautiful lie that you can’t help but cling to.

sungchan’s voice, when he speaks again, was filled with a bittersweet mixture of resignation and affection. ‘we’re a mess, aren’t we?’ he said with a rueful chuckle, the sound tinged with a sadness that mirrored the shadows on the walls.

‘yeah,’ you agreed, a sad smile playing on your lips. but we’re our mess.’ your words hung in the air, a delicate thread of understanding that connected you both in your shared chaos.

he sighed, the sound heavy with the weight of his internal battles, and pulled you closer. ‘i don’t know what I’d do without you,’he confessed, his voice cracking with vulnerability. 

‘you’d survive,’ you said softly, your voice a gentle balm to his wounded soul. ‘you always do.’ you traced the lines of his face with your fingers, each touch a silent vow of your love and commitment.

‘but I don’t want to just survive,’ he replied, his voice filled with a longing that tugged at your heart. ‘i want to live, to really live, and I don’t know how to do that without you.’ 

You don’t know how to respond to that. Instead, you just hold him tighter, as if that could somehow make everything better. But deep down, you both know it won’t. You’re stuck in a cycle of love and pain, unable to break free but unwilling to let go.

as the night stretches on, you drift into a restless sleep, haunted by dreams of what could have been. in your dreams, you see a life where love doesn’t hurt, where his eyes aren’t bloodshot and his knuckles aren’t bruised. but when you wake, the reality is unyielding, a stark reminder that you are trapped in a cycle of your own making.

morning comes, casting a pale light over the room and you watch as the sun slowly rises, bringing with it a new day. but there’s no sense of renewal, no promise of a fresh start. it’s just another day in the endless cycle you’ve found yourselves trapped in.

 he stirs beside you, his movements slow and deliberate. you watch as he sits up, his back to you, the weight of his actions evident in the slump of his shoulders.

‘i’m sorry,’ he says, finally breaking the silence, not turning to look at you. the words, though heartfelt, feel like a cruel joke. sorry isn’t enough to heal the wounds, to erase the nights of pain and the days of longing.

‘i know,” you reply, your voice devoid of emotion. it’s a conversation you’ve had countless times, each one a repetition of the same hollow promises.

he stands, reaching for his discarded clothes, the bed feeling colder and emptier without him, ironically mirroring the effect he seemed to have on your life. you watch in silence as he dresses, the familiar routine a painful reminder of the transient nature of your moments together. when he’s fully clothed, he turns to you, his eyes pleading for understanding.

‘will you be okay?’ he asks, the question heavy with unspoken fears.

‘i always am,’ you lie, forcing a smile. it's a lie you both choose to believe because the truth is too painful to face.

he leans down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. ‘i’ll be back tonight.’

you nod, knowing that the cycle will continue, that tonight will bring the same mix of joy and despair. as he leaves, the apartment feels even colder, the silence a deafening reminder of your solitude.

you sit there for a long time, staring at the door he walked through, wondering if there will ever come a day when you can let go. the love you share is a beautiful poison, one that you can’t seem to quit, even though you know it’s slowly killing you both. the echoes of your conversations linger in the air, a haunting reminder of the love and pain you share.

you finally get up, moving through the motions of your morning routine. but everything feels hollow, your heart heavy with the weight of your relationship. you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, seeing the tired eyes and the lines of worry etched into your face.

you think about the love you have for him, the way it consumes you. it’s a love that’s both beautiful and destructive, a force that binds you together even as it tears you apart. you wonder if things will ever change, if you’ll ever find the strength to let go.

but for now, you’re stuck in this endless loop, holding on to each other because the alternative is too terrifying to consider. you find a twisted comfort in the pain, a sense of normalcy in the chaos. it’s not healthy, but it’s all you’ve ever known.

you go about your day, trying to push the thoughts of him to the back of your mind. but he’s always there, a constant presence in your heart and mind. you can’t escape him, can’t escape the love you have for him, no matter how much it hurts.

as the day turns to night, you find yourself back in your apartment, the loneliness weighing heavily on you. you lie in bed, staring at the empty space beside you, waiting for him to come back to you, just like he promised. you know he’ll be back, that you’ll repeat the same cycle again. and despite everything, you find a strange comfort in that.

the living room is bathed in the soft, flickering light of a lone lamp, casting elongated shadows that stretch and wane across the walls. the clock on the mantle ticks away, each second echoing through the silence, a metronome marking the passage of time. you sit on the edge of the couch, a book in hand, its pages unread as your eyes repeatedly drift to the front door. the weight of anticipation hangs heavy in the air, a tangible presence that presses down on your chest.

outside, the night is alive with the distant hum of traffic and the occasional burst of laughter from passersby. it contrasts starkly with the oppressive quiet of the apartment, where the silence seems almost accusatory, reminding you of the countless nights spent in similar fashion. your phone lies beside you on the coffee table, screen dark and unbothered by any messages or calls. you don't bother picking it up to check; you already know.

the hours pass slowly, each one a reminder of your solitude, and yet he doesn’t return. it used to make your heart leap, bad thoughts circling your mind as you think about all the terrible situations he might have gotten in to. but you knew him too well now. you knew all too well that it just meant he was engaging in another night of his hedonistic pleasures, probably because he won his fight, surrounded by alcohol and loud music whilst consuming substances that he knew wasn’t good for him.

it wasn’t that you thought he would cheat, in fact that was the least of your worries. it was all just unhealthy, being wrapped up in a life of substance-fueled debauchery and distractions, a cry for help and it brings a bitter taste to your mouth. you’ve been here before, and the script always plays out the same.

you glance at the clock again—11:30 pm. each minute feels like an hour, and the realization slowly settles over you like a cold, damp blanket. he’s not coming home tonight. the knowledge seeps into your bones, a familiar ache that you've grown accustomed to. there's no anger left, no fiery resentment. just a dull, throbbing disappointment that pulses in rhythm with your heartbeat.

with a heavy sigh, you rise from the couch. the room feels larger in his absence, the silence more pronounced. you make your way to the bedroom, the soft thud of your footsteps the only sound accompanying you.

you slip under the covers, the cool fabric a stark contrast to the warmth you long for. the ceiling stares back at you, an expanse of darkness dotted with the faint glow of the streetlights filtering through the blinds. memories of happier times flood your mind, unbidden and unwelcomed as you try to push them away, focusing instead on the present, on the reality of your situation.

the phone remains silent on the nightstand but you don’t reach for it. there’s no point. instead, you close your eyes, willing sleep to come and take you away from the disappointment, if only for a few hours.

you finally drift off to sleep, your dreams filled with images of him. in your dreams, things are different. there’s no pain, no conflict. just love, pure and simple.but dreams are just that – dreams. the reality is much harsher, much more complicated. you wake up to the same emptiness, the same ache in your heart and you know that nothing will change, that you’re trapped in this toxic dance with no end in sight.

the next night arrives, and with it, the familiar sound of a brisk knock on the door. you know who  it is as you fiddle with your locks; sungchan, with bloodshot eyes and bruised knuckles, his signature smile plastered across his face and you feel the familiar pull in your chest. he’s your addiction, the one thing you can’t quit even though you know it’s destroying you. he steps into your embrace, and for a moment, you forget the pain, lose yourself in the illusion of love.

but deep down, you know that this isn’t sustainable, that one day the weight of your combined sorrows will crush you both. until then, you continue to cling to each other, finding fleeting moments of solace in the midst of your shared suffering.

the smell of alcohol wafts in with him, mingling with the night air, and you know immediately that he’s drunk. his steps are unsteady, yet his grin is wide, a mask that hides the weariness and turmoil beneath.

‘i’m sorry about last night,’  he slurs, leaning heavily against the doorframe and you’re pulled back into your reality. 

‘got caught up in the moment. the partying, the fun... i didn’t want to disturb you, you hate when i drink, but i’m really trying.’

you stand there, feeling the weight of his words press down on you, each one a reminder of the empty hours you spent waiting. but anger is a luxury you can't afford anymore. instead, you focus on the task at hand, channeling your energy into taking care of him. 

with gentle hands you guide him to your bathroom, peeling off the heavy leather jacket that clings to him, the one he cherishes so much. it smells of smoke and sweat, a testament to the night he’s had. next, you work on his jeans, the ones he wears like a second skin, stained and frayed from countless nights like these.

he tries to kiss you, his breath hot and sour against your cheek and his arms, though unsteady, reach for you, seeking solace in your embrace. but you turn your head, dodging his attempts at affection. each dodge feels like a small betrayal to your heart, which still beats for him despite everything. resentment tugs at your heartstrings, a discordant melody that drowns out the love you still feel. why couldn’t he be a normal boyfriend? someone who showed up when he promised, who took you out more, who came home more. someone who didn’t burden you with the weight of his absences and the chaos he brought with him.

‘let’s get you to bed,’ you murmur after helping him wash up and change into new clothes, hoping that sleep would sober him up as you take his hand and lead him to your room. he stumbles along, his laughter a hollow echo in the small space. you keep your touch gentle but firm, your heart a fortress against the flood of emotions threatening to spill over. 

once he’s settled under the covers, you sit on the edge of the bed, watching him. his eyes flutter closed, a sigh escaping his lips, the bruises on his knuckles standing out starkly against his pale skin, a silent testament to the battles he fights, both inside and out. you reach out, your fingers brushing against the bruises, feeling the rough texture of broken skin.

the words you long to say choke you, each one a thorn you bury deep within. you love him—god, how you love him—but you’re tired. tired of the waiting, of the disappointment, of the endless cycle of highs and lows. you swallow hard, pushing the bitterness down, burying it beneath layers of resignation and care.

he mumbles something incoherent, his hand reaching out to find yours. you let him take it, feeling the warmth of his grip, the way his fingers curl around yours. in this moment, despite everything, you still find a small piece of solace. because even though he’s broken, and even though he breaks you a little more each time, you still love him. and that love, for now, is enough to keep you here.

as the night wears on, you lie in bed together, his arms around you, your heart is heavy with unspoken words and unfulfilled wishes, holding on to the fragile hope that somehow, love will be enough to save you. but in the silence, you both know the truth: love, in its purest form, is supposed to heal, not hurt. and yet, you choose to remain, bound by a toxic devotion that neither of you can escape.

in the end, the saddest part isn’t the pain or the bruises or the tears. it’s the realization that you’ve mistaken suffering for love, that you’ve built a life on a foundation of hurt. and as you drift into another restless sleep, you can’t help but wonder if there will ever come a day when you can truly let go.

you can’t help but wonder if there will ever come a time when he chooses you over the chaos.

morning light filters through the thin curtains, casting a soft, muted glow across the room. you wake up first, as always, lying in silent resignation as you watch sungchan sleep. his face is a picture of peace, a stark contrast to the turmoil of the previous night. you trace the contours of his face with your eyes, noting the faint lines of exhaustion and the bruises that mar his knuckles. there’s a fleeting moment of tenderness as you remember why you fell in love with him, but it’s quickly overshadowed by the weight of disappointment.

eventually, he stirs, eyes fluttering open, confusion swimming in his irises. his gaze darts around the room until recognition dawns, and you see the realization settle in. he doesn’t remember much, but he knows he messed up. T

the room is enveloped in a heavy silence, the kind that presses down on you, making it hard to breathe. you both look at each other, hearts too heavy to speak. he knows you’re tired of his apologies, and you’re tired of demanding them. the unspoken understanding hangs between you, thick and suffocating.

guilt gnaws at him, and you watch as he chews on his chapped bottom lip, a habit that betrays his inner turmoil. you furiously pick at the dead skin around your nails, needing a distraction, something to focus on other than the pain in your heart.

‘i’m—” he starts, his voice cracking.

‘don’t,’ you cut him off, your voice low but firm. ‘just don’t.’

he looks down, his shoulders slumping as the weight of his actions settles over him. ‘i’m sorry,’ he whispers, unable to stop himself.

your jaw tightens, and you shake your head, slipping out from under the covers, the floor cold against your bare feet as you make your way to the living room, the weight of his gaze following you. he scrambles after you, pathetically, desperately trying to make amends with gestures instead of words. he hugs you from behind, his arms wrapping around you with a familiar warmth, and places a kiss on the crown of your head. the tenderness of the moment is almost painful, a reminder of what you once had and what’s slowly slipping away.

‘please,” he murmurs into your hair, his voice thick with regret. ‘i’ll do better. i promise.”

‘you always promise,’ you reply, your voice barely above a whisper as you step out of his arms. ‘but nothing changes.’

he disappears into the bedroom with a sigh, leaving you standing there, a storm of emotions swirling within you. when he re-emerges, he’s wearing some of his old clothes he must have found in your cupboard. the sight of him in those familiar clothes stirs something in you, a bittersweet ache that tugs at your heart.

‘can we at least talk about it later?’ he asks, his eyes pleading, drawing close to you again, littering you with kisses down your neck.

you nod, not trusting yourself to speak. the words you want to say are lodged in your throat, too painful to voice. ‘fine,’ you manage to get out.

‘we’ll talk later, i promise we will,’ he says again, the words hanging in the air like a promise and a burden. then with one more kiss to your cheek, and a lingering look filled with pleading he’s gone, the door closing softly behind him.

you stand in the middle of the living room, feeling the emptiness settle around you. the silence is deafening, filled with all the things you wish you could say but can’t. you sink into the couch, pulling a blanket around you as if it could shield you from the reality of your situation. the ache in your heart is a constant, a reminder of the struggle between your love for him and the pain he causes you. and as the morning light grows brighter, you can't help but wonder how many more mornings like this you can endure before you break.

the cycle continues, the pain and the love intertwined in a never-ending dance. and you hold on, because it’s all you know, because letting go is too terrifying to consider.

you find yourselves in each other’s arms, seeking comfort in the familiarity of your pain. you whisper words of love and apology, trying to mend the broken pieces of your hearts. but it’s never enough. the wounds run too deep, the scars too numerous.

as the days turn into weeks, then months, the pattern remains unchanged. you both cling to each other, desperate and afraid, but unable to break free. the world outside your apartment moves on, but inside, time stands still. each day blurs into the next, a monotonous loop of fleeting highs and devastating lows.

one particularly stormy evening, as you sit alone in your apartment, the rain beating against the windows like a relentless drum, the stormy night outside mirrors the turmoil inside your heart. you hear a knock at the door and your heart leaps in your chest, a mixture of dread and anticipation coursing through your veins. you already know who it is before you even open the door.

he stands there, soaked to the bone, his hair plastered to his forehead, and that familiar, weary smile on his lips. his eyes are red-rimmed, and there’s a fresh cut above his eyebrow. you don’t ask what happened; you stopped asking a long time ago. instead, you step aside, letting him in, the warmth of your apartment a stark contrast to the cold, wet world outside.

you lead him to the bedroom, your hands gently guiding him, and he follows without protest. the routine is familiar, almost comforting in its predictability. he sheds his wet clothes, the fabric pooling on the floor like the remnants of a forgotten promise and you hand him a towel, watching as he dries off and slips into a pair of sweatpants. 

his bare feet pad softly on the carpet as he approaches the bed, a vulnerable warrior seeking solace. you pull back the covers, and he slips beneath them, the warmth of his body mingling with yours. the familiar scent of him, a mix of cologne, sweat, and something uniquely his, envelops you. you lie side by side, the silence between you thick, a palpable presence that neither of you can ignore.

you reach out, your fingers tracing the bruises on his knuckles, each one a dark bloom of pain. he winces slightly but doesn’t pull away, letting you touch the evidence of his inner demons. you know his battles are as much with himself as they are with the world outside.

‘i wish things could be different,’ you say, your voice barely audible in the darkness.

‘so do i. i wish i was a better person, for you,’he replies, his breath warm against your neck.

but wishing is not enough, you both know that. the cycle will continue, a never-ending loop of love and pain, of passion and despair. you are both prisoners of your own making, trapped in a love that is as toxic as it is intoxicating.

‘you don’t have to do this,” you say after a while, your heart aching with a mixture of love and frustration. ‘you don’t have to fight. you don’t have to drown your problems with alcohol or burn all of your battles.’

he turns his head to look at you, his eyes dark and stormy. ‘and what about you? you think I don’t see the hurt in your eyes? we’re both fighting, in our own ways.’

you close your eyes, the truth of his words cutting deep. you’re both prisoners of this toxic dance, unwilling to let go even as it tears you apart. love, you’ve come to believe, is supposed to hurt. the illusion that everything is normal, that this is how it’s meant to be, is a comforting lie you both cling to.

‘i hate seeing you like this,’ you admit, your voice trembling.

he reaches out, his hand cupping your cheek. ‘i hate it too,’ he says softly, his thumb brushing away a tear. ‘but I can’t stop. and neither can you.’

the words hang in the air, a bitter acknowledgment of your shared fate. he leans in, his lips brushing yours in a kiss that is both tender and desperate, a silent plea for connection amidst the chaos. you respond, your hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. the kiss deepens, a fiery exchange that speaks of longing and regret, of passion and pain.

you break apart, breathless and trembling. ‘stay,’ you whisper, your voice a fragile thread.

‘ i will,’ he replies, his eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that borders on obsession. ‘i always do.’

the storm outside rages on, mirroring the tempest within your souls. you know this is a temporary reprieve, a fleeting moment of peace in a sea of turmoil. but for now, it is enough.

the wind howls through the cracks in the windows, a mournful song that underscores the fragility of your peace. you hold each other tighter, as if by sheer force of will you can keep the storm at bay. his breath is warm against your neck, a stark contrast to the cold dread that gnaws at your heart. you can feel the steady thump of his heartbeat, a rhythmic reminder of the life you’ve built together, even as it threatens to crumble.

in the quiet moments, between the whispers and the kisses, you catch glimpses of the man you fell in love with—the man who makes you laugh, who holds you when you cry, who promises you the world even as he stumbles through his own battles. those glimpses are what keep you tethered, what make the pain bearable. they are the fleeting moments of sunlight breaking through the storm clouds, offering a ray of hope that things might one day be different.

but as dawn approaches, the reality of your situation settles back in. the night has given you a reprieve, but the problems remain, lurking in the corners of your mind, waiting for the light of day to bring them back into sharp focus. you know that the cycle will continue, that the highs will be followed by lows, that the love you share will be tested time and again.

the first light of morning seeps through the curtains and you know the illusion is about to shatter. he will leave again, drawn back to the battles he fights, and you will remain, your heart aching with the emptiness his absence leaves behind.

he turns to you, his expression unreadable. ‘take care,’ his words are a hollow echo of what you both wish could be.

‘you too,’ you reply, your voice thick with unshed tears.

he leaves, the door closing behind him with a soft click and you lie back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, the weight of your reality pressing down on you. the silence is deafening, the emptiness a stark reminder of the void in your heart.

because in this twisted dance of love and pain, you have found a perverse sense of belonging. you have convinced yourself that this is what love is meant to be, that the hurt is a necessary part of the equation. and as long as he keeps coming back, you will continue to believe the lie.

for now, you cling to the moments of tenderness, the fleeting glimpses of happiness that punctuate the darkness. you tell yourself that it is enough, that this is all you deserve. when you lie alone in the dim light of your bedroom, you whisper a silent prayer to a god you no longer believe in, hoping for a miracle that will never come.

the pattern of your lives becomes a relentless cycle, a vicious circle you cannot break free from. each time he leaves, the void he leaves behind grows deeper, the ache in your heart more pronounced. and yet, when he returns, battered and broken, you welcome him with open arms, unable to resist the pull he has over you.

[squoxle]

Secret Obsession 𓆩♡𓆪 P.WB 18+

✰ pairing: pervy!professor!wonbin x camgirl!student!fem!reader | ✰ wc: 4.6k | ✰ cw: MDNI!!! heavily sexual content…literally porn bro | ✰ plot: since your first year of college, you've had a side gig to earn extra cash. during one of your streams, you meet an interesting new user catches your attention.

You watched the comments as they appeared on your stream.

"Please take off your shirt for me, baby. Oh my god...ur so sexy. Take it off for Daddy. Turn around so I can see it from the back."

A part of you enjoyed the attention you received from your little side hustle, but the real reason you did this was to fund your education--or more realistically...your housing.

You leaned back on your bed, spreading your legs as you reached your fingers down to toy with your wetness.

"Fuck baby. ur so wet. i wanna see u abuse that little cunt."

A notification popped up on the side of the screen alerting you to perform a paid request. Someone was paying 80 dollars to watch you finger yourself. That was a hefty amount to say that your viewers were already paying a subscription--and you were gonna end up doing that anyway.

You first inserted one finger to get you started before slipping a second finger in. You pulled them back and forth, grazing your g-spot every so often.

"I wish I was fucking u with my dick rn. Faster baby, please. I'm already so close."

You felt the buzzing from your remote-controlled vibrator beside you. "Oh, I guess someone really wants me to use my toy, huh?" you chuckled lightly. You knew that paying to control the vibrations on your toy costs $150 for 10 minutes.

"yes, please. I wanna see u cum all over your sheets."

You reached over to grab the smooth toy before pushing it into your pussy. You didn't have enough time to stretch yourself, but your viewers liked to hear you struggle. "Ngh!" you groaned.

"If you squirt I'll give you 100 dollars. Cum for me baby. God ur so fucking tight. Let me fuck u one time plz."

The squelching sounds of your wet pussy coupled with your soft moans filled the room as a creamy substance coated the toy. The vibrations intensified causing you to tightly close your legs. You felt your pussy clench around the toy as you came closer to your high.

"open ur legs baby I wanna see u fucking that cunt. i would eat your pussy till you cry. ur moans make me so fucking horny."

Another notification popped up, requesting that you use the rose toy on your clit while you keep using the vibrator. It was 50 dollars, not much, but it was a simple request. Your chest heaved as you pressed the toy against your clit.

Your legs trembled as you climaxed. Fortunately, you were able to secure that extra hundred as you squirted.

"Okay, guys," you said as you slowly caught your breath. "That's it for today."

"aww. please can you just cum one more time."

"I really have to go right now, but I'll be back soon," you smiled. Even though your face was completely hidden you still gave your usual expressions. You waved as the viewers left your server one by one.

The last one there was someone new. This was the same guy...or girl that had been giving you all of those paid requests.

Username: Darkomen302

They had a mysterious vibe about them and you wanted see if there was any inkling to who they were on their profile. Every now and then, a client caught your eye. So this was nothing new.

Their age was listed as "old enough to be here" which meant that they had been verified, but chose to keep that detail anonymous. The bio was even more useless. "I'm the demon you can't stop dreaming about."

No profile picture, no name, no age...this was unlike anything you ever experienced.

A fairy-like tone chimed from your laptop indicating a new message from your secret admirer.

"How much for a private call?"

"It depends on what you want to do," you replied.

"Okay, well I want to watch you play with yourself."

"That'll be $200. I can add it to your subscription if you want."

"What do you mean?"

"I can just update your account. You'll have to pay a little more though."

"That's okay, I'll take it."

You watched as the banner on his account changed from silver to gold, indicating that he had upgraded his account.

"That was fast," you thought to yourself.

"I wish I could call you right now, but I have somewhere to be," they messaged.

"That's alright. Maybe we can do it some other time."

"How about tonight?"

Their eagerness was slightly off-putting, but you've dealt with stranger clients.

“Okay, sounds good. How about somewhere around 9 o’clock my time?”

“What time is it for you now?”

“It’s 2:15pm right now.”

“Oh, well it looks like we’re in the same time zone. See ya then,” he sent a winking emoticon before going offline.

You closed your laptop and got dressed for your first day of class. When you researched your anatomy professor, not a single picture came up.

This wasn't entirely off-putting given that he was a new professor.

Living on campus definitely had it's perks. You were just a few steps away from all of your classes, which meant you didn't have to get up as early to be on time. But it also made you lazy for the same reasons.

You pulled your bag over your shoulder as you walked into the classroom.

"Good evening, class. My name is Wonbin Park, but you will address me as, Professor Park," he announced as he wrote his name on the board. "Or Mr. Park, Dr. Park, Professor P. It's fine with me so long as it's formal."

"No fucking way," you whispered to yourself as you thought back to the first time you unintentionally met your professor...

"Oh my god, he's so fucking hot," you heard one girl whispering to her friend next to you.

"Have some fucking decorum," another student spat at them. "You can talk like that after class...no one wants to hear that stupid shit."

"We're not even talking that loud, relax," one of the girls spat back at him.

"So? I'm telling you right now that if the genders were reversed you'd be saying some shit like that's so disgusting, guys are dogs."

"Whatever," You watched as the girl rolled their eyes at his remark, but he wasn't wrong. They could at least wait till he's not around to talk about him.

"As much as I love to see some good peer interaction, I'd prefer if I could teach today's lesson without the distractions. It makes it kinda hard to focus, not only for me but for others in the class," he smiled as he looked over to your section of seats.

"As I was saying," he turned back to the board "This is just an introductory class to anatomy. A brief overview of what you'll see in some of your later courses like biology and microbiology."

You wrote a few copious notes about the content covered in class. Mainly the contact information, grade system, late work policy, and exam dates. Stuff you thought was too important to forget. You didn't really like asking questions so this should be helpful.

"Alright, everybody. Let's have a little social lesson. I have a cup of popsicle sticks up here by me. Grab one stick and this little prompt sheet. Then go find your partner to mingle with for the next 10 minutes and come back here so we can do one more round," he said walking behind his desk.

After everyone had pulled a stick there were still a few left over. So the professor offered to join the game for the last round before class ended.

"God I hope I get to be his partner," one of the girls who sat next to you whispered, clasping her hands together.

Ironically, you were the one who got paired up with him instead of her. You scanned over the list, thinking of a reply to each of them.

What's your name?

How old are you?

Where are you from/hometown?

What is something that makes you stand out?

What's your major?

Do you have any siblings/pets?

What's your favorite food/drink?

Do you have any hobbies/special talents?

"How about you ask the first question," he smiled.

"Umm...I don't really know which one to ask first," you chuckled shyly.

"Okay, then I'll start. What's your name?"

"_____ _____."

"Now, it's your turn to ask me a question. Since you already know my name, you'll have to pick something else."

"Hmm...how old are you?"

"22," he replied before you proceeded to fill out the rest of the sheet with his answers.

"Can I ask you a question that isn't on this paper?"

"Umm, sure...depending on what it is."

"I'm just curious to know how you became a college professor at such a young age.

"Well I started college pretty early and I took quite a few AP courses in high school which gave me a head start."

"What made you want to teach anatom--" you were cut off by the timer on his phone. The real questions you wanted to ask him would have to wait until later. This wasn't really the time or place for a conversation like that.

"Maybe we can talk more during my office hours," he smiled before signaling everyone to go back to their desks and gather their things.

"Before you guys leave, come by my desk to grab a copy of the syllabus. It's short and will serve as your guide throughout the semester. Please look at the syllabus before you contact me with any questions because you might already have your answer," he said as shuffling sounds filled the room of about 50 students.

You were the last one in line to grab your copy, you didn't really like pushing through people, so going last was a safe option. You still managed to catch a glimpse of the same two girls from earlier giving the professor blowjob eyes as they took the paper from his hands.

You couldn't deny the fact that he was obviously attractive, but these girls were a little over the top, to say the least, and you were certain their subtle actions would escalate in the following classes.

You took your paper and smiled softly as you met his eyes. There was something about the way he looked at you that made your heart skip a beat.

But you refused to be anything like those other girls. Plus you never really needed any extra credit activities. You were smart enough to pass on your own.

Lucky for you, this was the only class you had for today. Which meant that you could go straight home after this 2-hour lecture.

As soon as you made it back to your room, you remembered that you had to do another live stream for your female viewers today. So you prepped yourself for some classic pillow fun.

"Hey, ladies. D'you miss me?" you asked as you came into frame. They often liked to watch you change, which was difficult because you had to keep your face out of view.

"I've been waiting for this all day. I wish I could help you undress."

You stretched your body to pull your shirt over your head, revealing your bra--that you planned to keep on, especially since you were wearing a brand new panty set. You always let the ladies be the first to see.

"The way I would throw you onto that bed and eat you out till you beg me to stop. I'd kill to be your roommate."

You moved the camera to face your bed as you straddled your fluffy white pillow. Just as you began moving your hips back and forth against the plush fabric, your comments were blowing up with requests for you to show your boobs.

"play with your nipples for me, baby."

Even though you didn't really want to take off your bra you did it anyway.

"Oh my god! Fuck yes! ur tits are so perfect."

*Bing* your laptop chimed as a text from your new friend popped up.

"Are we still on for tonight?"

You obviously couldn't respond in the middle of your stream so you just ignored it until a eye-catching comment caught your attention.

"Darkomen302 has joined your stream..."

You continued the rest of your stream, as usual--getting off before thanking your viewers. You were curious as to what all this Darkomen user wanted to do.

"Yeah, we're still on. Sorry, I couldn't respond earlier...I was in the middle of a stream."

"Oh, I saw. You did pretty good by the way."

"Thanks lol. So did you want to just get started now?"

"Yeah sure, just let me finish up something real quick."

"Okay," you texted before closing your laptop.

It had been about 10 minutes before you came back online. You checked your student emails as you waited for a message from your secret admirer.

An email from Professor Park just came in about his office hours and other windows of availability...

Good evening, Miss _______.

It was really nice getting to know a little bit about you today. I'm glad we got paired up. Below are my preferred office hours, but you can contact me anytime using either my work email or personal phone number. (Mon-Thu 4-5pm) (Fri 4-5:30pm) (Sat-Sun 10-11am)

Make sure you stay on top of your assignments and take good care of yourself. I hope you have a good rest of your evening. Can't wait to see you again next week.

Sincerely, Professor Park.

Email Sent: Today 18:21pm

"Okay, well how about we go out for dinner tonight around 8--unless you're busy. In that case, we can just reschedule. Nothing too formal. I just have a few more questions," you responded.

"Sounds great! You can meet me in my office. I'll be working a little longer today."

Before you got a chance to respond to your professor a videocall notification from Darkomen302 popped up on your screen.

"Sorry, if I seem a little pushy. I just couldn't wait until later. I kinda have something planned tonight," they typed.

"That's okay. I'll make sure you finish quickly," you smiled. "Just tell me what you want me to do." You were wearing only an oversized t-shirt and the same panties from earlier.

"Okay, well can you sit back a bit. Just so I can get a better view of your pussy."

You did just as they requested, sitting back to spread your legs in front of the camera before circling your clit.

"Did you want to turn your mic on? It might make telling me what to do a little quicker," you suggested. A part of you was eager to at least know this user's gender. Mainly to give you an idea of what you were dealing with.

"Yeah, sure. But I can't talk too loud."

"That's fine," you said as you continued to toy with your clit.

"Can you hear me good enough?" he asked as he switched his mic on.

"Mmm yeah. I can hear you perfectly," something about his voice seemed familiar, but you couldn't pinpoint it just yet. "Did you wanna turn your camera on too? That way I can watch you cum too."

"Umm..."

"Don't worry. You can keep it titled down just so I can see your dick," as often as you did this, having a little extra visual stimulation always made things better.

"Okay," you heard a bit of shuffling before his camera finally came on. You watched as he stroked himself through his pants.

"Oh my god, that looks so good," you hummed as you slid your fingers down to gather some of your slick.

He gripped his hard dick through his hands as you stroked his ego telling him how much seeing his clothed dick was getting you excited.

"D'you wanna see it?" he asked as his hands travelled to his belt.

"Yes, daddy. Please show me," you watched as he pulled out his hard veiny cock. You jammed your fingers into your pussy, coating them in your juices as you pumped them in and out.

"Ugh, fuck baby. Fuck that pussy good for daddy. I wanna see you cum for me," he groaned.

"Ngh, I want you to imagine fucking me like a good little slut," you said before pausing to spit on your slit. "Tell me all the nasty things you want to do to me."

"I wanna throw you over my desk and fuck you until you beg me to stop," he hummed as he began stroking his dick. "And after I make you cum all over my dick, I wanna put you on your knees and fill your mouth with my cream," he pumped faster.

"Mmm yes, fuck my throat and claim me," you reached for your dildo. This was getting more exciting than you thought.

"I wanna jerk off between your tits while you wear my glasses," you were quickly approaching your climax as you watched him beat off with those veiny hands.

"I'm so close," you moaned.

"Just hold out for a little longer. I'm almost ready," he moaned as he tugged at his dick some more. You listened to his eager whimpers as he came closer to finishing.

You slowed down a bit to give him some time as lewd sounds filled the room. For the first time, you wished he was here to really please you. To rip your pussy apart and fuck you just the way he wanted. Using you as his little fucktoy.

"Ngh~ Are you wearing a bra?"

"No."

"Show me your tits," he spat. "Right fucking now," his aggression was turning you on so much right now that you didn't even blink before pulling your shirt up to expose your tits.

"Ugh, fuck!" he swore. "You're so fucking hot. Ahh fuck! I'm gonna cum," he moaned as white cream shot out from his tip. You watched as it dripped down his fingers.

He continued stroking himself as he waited for you to finish.

"Fuck," you hummed. "We should do this more often."

"Yeah, you definitely help at relieving a lot of pinned up stress," he chuckled softly reaching across his desk to grab a tissue.

"And I didn't know you wore glasses."

"Only when I'm working."

"Sorry, but do you mind if I ask what kind of job you have?"

"No, that's fine. I just teach at a university."

"You seem kinda young. How old are you?"

"Well, I can't answer that question for obvious reasons, but I'm younger than 30. This might sound kinda weird but you actually remind me of one of my students."

"Oh, do I?"

"Yes, the first time I saw her was in the bookstore. I helped her grab something from the top shelf, and she dropped it on the ground when I handed it to her. Then we both reached down to pick it up, and I bumped into her from behind which made her moan a little. Next thing I know, we're fucking in a single-stall bathroom. I never saw her again after that...until I started teaching of course. A little bit before that was when I stumbled upon your streams."

Either this was the biggest coincidence ever or Darkomen302 was your professor.

"Oh wow, that sounds like something out of a movie," you chuckled.

"Yeah, I guess so. Well, I gotta go now. We should definitely do this again though. I had a lot of fun with you."

"Same here," you smiled before ending the call.

You thought back to the first time you saw him today in class. A flashback of his face decorated by the golden sun rays popped into your head.

It was everything from the way he spoke to you to the way he scanned your body with his eyes that told you exactly what was on his mind. And you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel the same way.

When you felt his hard cock press into your ass, all common sense left your mind as lust took over. You locked eyes with him before tilting your head in such a way to tell him that you wanted to go somewhere private.

Yes, this was stupid. Yes, this was reckless. But you wanted him more than anything in that moment.

You thought back to the way he lifted you onto his hard veiny dick and shoved every inch deeper into you. You could hear his breathing pick up as he fucked you harder and faster.

He gripped at your body as he pleasured himself. He helped you ride out your high by stimulating your clit before you dropped to your knees and swallowed every last drop of his seed.

You fastened your chain as you finished getting dressed for your date with your professor. As instructed you headed straight to his office to meet up with him.

*Knock, knock, knock*

You knocked on his door before he called out, "Come in."

You walked in sheepishly, not entirely sure why you felt this way all of a sudden. To be fair, it felt like the universe kept pulling you together in different ways.

"I'm glad you came," he smiled.

"So when were you gonna tell me that you were a teacher," you asked as you stood in front of his desk.

"Heh, it was kinda hard to do that with your tongue down my throat," he replied. "I didn't even get your name until now," he smiled.

"Hmm...I guess you're right."

"Are there any other questions you'd like to ask me?" he asked as he stood up.

"Yes," you began. Though a million questions raced through your mind, only one managed to come out. "Do you like pasta?" you cringed at yourself, trying your best to hide your emotions, but it was of no use. He could see it all over you.

"Pasta?" he laughed. "Of course I do, but I had that yesterday and I'm kinda in the mood for a steak. I know a really nice restaurant we could go to."

"Umm, I--"

"Don't worry. They sell plenty of pasta," he chuckled, slinging his crossbody bag over his shoulder, before walking over to you.

You watched his movements in shock, your mouth slightly gaped open. "Well, come on. Let's go," he smiled, patting you on the shoulder before opening his office door. "I'll take you in my car."

You rubbed your thighs together as you sat next to him in the passenger seat. You couldn't take your eyes off of the bulge in his pants. You knew he wasn't fully hard at the moment, but you couldn't shake the thought of his dick in your mouth.

When he pulled up to the venue you almost thought it was a hotel from the outside. You followed him in to see an extremely formal dining setting. For a second you felt a bit underdressed as you sat next to Wonbin in the red semi-circle booth, but that all disappeared when you felt Wonbin's hand grip your thigh.

Your eyes jumped up at him. Instead of responding, he just gave you a look with his eyes. Lustful and sirenic. This was a look you knew too well.

"Good evening. My name is Andre, and I'll be your waiter tonight. Would you guys like me to start you off with anything? Maybe some bread? Or water?"

"Umm, how about some chardonnay?" Wonbin replied, still stroking your thigh.

"Alright. And what can I get for the lady?"

"Mmm," you struggled to hold back a moan as he reached his fingers between your folds, pressing against your clit.

"She'll have the same," Wonbin smiled as the waiter wrote down your order.

"Okay, well I'm gonna go start working on those drinks now. The menus are right here whenever you're ready to order something else," Andre smiled before tucking his notepad into his apron.

Just as the waiter walked far enough away, Wonbin pressed into you again. "Agh," you bit your lip.

"You're already wet," he smirked. "You must've been thinking about some nasty things, huh?" he continued, massaging your clit.

"Here you are, sir," Andre returned with a frosted bottle of white wine sitting in a small tub of ice and two champagne glasses. "I'm not sure if you wanted the whole bottle or not," he started.

"Oh, yes. This is perfect. Thank you," Wonbin said as he placed the items on the table.

"Alrighty, well just let me know if you need anything else."

"Of course," Wonbin smiled as Andre walked away again. The waiter also left behind a small tray of fresh and frozen grapes. Wonbin picked one of them up and teased your clit with the icy fruit, coating it in your wetness.

He then popped the cold fruit into his mouth. He picked up another one which slipped out of his fingers and onto the floor. "Oops," he smirked, before sliding under the table.

"Mmph!" you yelped, covering your mouth as you felt his tongue lap at your pussy. "Mmm," you stifled your moans as he sucked and tongue fucked you.

You felt him pull back and blow cool air on your wet lips before climbing back into his seat with the grape in his hand. "I got it," he smiled.

You barely even heard what he said as you looked at him with desperate eyes. Just like earlier, your expression spoke louder than your words as you practically begged for what happened next.

"Follow me," he whispered before standing up and heading to a section toward the back of the restaurant. You hesitantly followed him to a red curtain that concealed a hidden V.I.P. section.

There he brought you to a private room. "This'll be a little more comfortable than a bathroom," he smirked.

He locked the door behind you as you stood in the center of the room, just waiting to be destroyed.

"One more time wouldn't hurt," you though to yourself.

"Make as much noise as you want, baby. Nobody can hear you," Wonbin huffed as he pumped into you. The lewd sounds from your pussy, mixed with your breathless moans.

"AHH," you screamed as he clamped down on your tit, sucking it hard enough that you were sure to wake up with a mark.

After this, you were completely done with him. Right?

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he spat as you moaned into his ear. He doubled down and started fucking you so hard and fast that you just went completely silent. Your mouth gaped open as the sounds of your skin slapping together took the place of your moans.

You did not want to become the girl who fucks her professor.

He turned you over, placing you on your hands and knees as he plowed into you from the back. You whined as he stimulated your clit while fucking you. You could feel his whole body engulfing you as he fucked you senseless.

"Yeah, baby. Just like that," he groaned, ripping his dick out to spit on your pussy before forcing in two of his fingers. You squirted a little as he stimulated your g-spot.

He pushed you down onto your side, lifting on leg over his shoulder as he fucked you some more.

"God, you're pussy is so fucking tight," he hummed.

You could get in so much trouble...and he could lose his job. Was it really worth it?

"Ngh," you hummed as he slowed down to give you long, hard, and deep strokes. He pulled out to spill his cum all over your stomach as you laid there with your pussy throbbing from the constant fucking.

He leaned down to kiss you on your cheek as he glided his dick between your folds.

❀ Thank you all so much for reading! Make sure to check out other works on my masterlist!

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